All Over Again
by courage
Summary: Rinoa becomes extremly ill and passes away, but for Squall the memory of his only love doesn't pass quite so easily. When someone new enters his life will he return to his cold distant self, or try to find love all over again?*complete*
1. Everything Then Gone

Ch. 1 Everything Then Gone  
  
She was sick, almost sick to the point were she was knocking on deaths door.and the only thing he could do about was hold her hand.  
  
Rinoa had been sleeping for quite some time now, yet he hadn't left her bedside for a minute. Every moment with Rinoa was precious and Squall didn't want to miss a one.  
  
Her hand was soft and tender within in own rough and coarse one. He gently caressed her hand with his thumb. He could hardly make himself look her in the face, it brought too many fond memories that he just couldn't face at the moment. Squall just let her presence sooth his soul, her very accents calming the storm that had moved in over his heart.  
  
"Dammit!" He screamed knowing that the soothing calm that only Rinoa Heartilly brought wasn't to last much longer. It burned him, who the hell was given the right to play god? Who in Diablo's name decided to take Rinoa away from him!? Hadn't the two eighteen year olds been through enough?  
  
It was just two weeks after they had gotten engaged that Rinoa had found out. Squall still felt the vivid pain of her words.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Squall, can we please go somewhere to talk?"  
  
He looks at her suspiciously "Is there something wrong?"  
  
Her expression was dry "I really just want to go somewhere to talk."  
  
Nervously Squall walked with her silently to the balcony of the floating garden. The sky was clear as crystal and the air as fresh as rain, but Squall couldn't help but to feel a foreboding feeling wash over him. Bluntly he asked his fiancée.  
  
"Rinoa, if you want to hold off our engagement I completely understand. This is a big step and I"- Squall stopped when he saw the tears pouring from Rinoa's eyes. He watched Rinoa with concern moving in closer to her.  
  
"Don't.don't you want to get married?"  
  
"Squall, that's all I want in the whole world."  
  
"Then what's wrong?"  
  
Rinoa went quiet Squall watched as she contemplated with her own thoughts. Finally after a nerve breaking silence she said something.  
  
"Squall.I'm sick."  
  
"Well come on then I'll help you get into bed."  
  
"No, Squall I'm very sick. In fact.I'm dying."  
  
Squall stood there words not able to come out of his mouth. She couldn't be dying; she was the damn sorceress for heavens sake.  
  
"How.how can that be? I mean shouldn't your powers stop things like that?"  
  
"It's actually my sorceress powers that are causing my illness."  
  
"Then get rid of them."  
  
"To who?"  
  
"I don't know how about Edea?"  
  
"She's too old to take them."  
  
"Well then how about Quistis and Selphie, hell how about any girl on the street let's just get rid of it."  
  
"It doesn't work like that Squall you know that and even if it did I would never leave the burden on anyone else's soul."  
  
Squall looks away from Rinoa. This couldn't be happening. After everything they've been through, after all the times they risked their lives and lived and then this?  
  
"How come this is happening?" He asked almost mutely.  
  
"My powers have been kind of eating away at me for the last couple of months. At first I could hardly notice it, but over time it got worse."  
  
"How come you never told me!?" Squall protested.  
  
"I didn't want to worry you until I was sure that it was serious."  
  
Squall let's out a false laugh "Well it's serious."  
  
"Please try to understand"-  
  
"Understand what?" Squall interrupted her. "That I'm going to loose the only person that I'd ever loved, the person who means the most to me in the entire world. Oh yeah I understand completely." After his last snide remark Squall falls to his knees and whispers defeated "I understand completely."  
  
Rinoa joins him on her knees looking him directly in the eyes he returns her stare with their eye's meeting the two collapse into each other's arms.  
  
  
  
  
  
From out of his thoughts Squall stands up he picks up the lamp from the nightstand and throws it clear across the room watching it shatter against the wall.  
  
From the noise Dr. Kadowaki emerges into the room looking from the destroyed lamp then to Squall.  
  
"Sorry," was all he muttered.  
  
"Maybe you should get some rest Mr. Leonhart." The doctor said concerned.  
  
"I'm fine, besides I want to stay by Rinoa."  
  
"I'll come get you as soon ass she awakes until then I advise you get some rest."  
  
"But," Squall started but Dr. Kadowaki didn't let him finish.  
  
"It isn't a request Mr. Leonhart that's an order."  
  
Squall highly doubted Dr. Kadowaki had any authority over him, but simply too tired to argue Squall walked defeated out of the hospital wing.  
  
He only took a few steps before Squall heard his name being called. Squall looked up to see Selphie and Irvine in front of him.  
  
Selphie and Irvine both moved to Trabia soon after their victory over Ulticimia. Selphie was offered the headmistress position at the rebuilding garden. Of course she took it and without a second thought Irvine followed.  
  
A year has gone by since and Squall hasn't seen much of either of his comrades. He and Rinoa had once paid a memorable visit to the rebuilt garden and the dynamic duo had paid a couple of their own visits to Balamb but that was it. Now they were here just as Rinoa was.Squall wasn't going to hear any of it. He walked right pass his friends without so much as a look.  
  
He could hear Selphie squeal behind him "Squall."  
  
Then came Irvine's Galbadian drawl "Squall man were so sorry."  
  
Their pleads only made him walk faster, why were people always sorry? Sorry never fixed anything it was just some meaningless thing that people said.  
  
Storming past all watching cadets and SeeD's Squall went right to his room where he collapsed, emotional lost from any reality, into his bed.  
  
Everything going on around him was just so surreal. They had just a little more then a year together, they were just starting to plan their lives around each other.then the guardians with one swipe take everything away.  
  
Squall puts his pillow over his head creating a false darkness. Into that pillow Squall prayed, now Squall never prayed for anything, but then again Squall never wanted something so bad in his life. He prayed when Rinoa got up everything would be alright.  
  
Sleep was starting to overcome the young commander. Squall closed his eyes and began to drift off clinging to his prayer.  
  
"Squall wake up. Squall come on she's up." came a female voice deep within his dreams.  
  
Squall stood up with a start his mind was confused and tired. He was having such a good dream that it was enticing to go back and finish it, but then the woman's voice started again. Squall realized it was Quistis' voice from the other side of the door.  
  
"Squall, Rinoa's up she's calling for you." called Quistis' voice.  
  
He didn't waste another moment Rinoa was waiting for him. Squall raced out the door not even noticing Quistis waiting for him.  
  
He reached the hospital wing and found it crowded with people; Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Headmaster Cid, Edea, and Quistis who just stepped in.  
  
From within the crowd Squall could hear Rinoa's meek voice calling his name.  
  
"Squall, where's Squall?"  
  
He ran to her bed kneeling down beside her they were face to face. "I'm right here Rinoa, don't worry." He told her taking her hand. Rinoa smiles weakly. She lightly presses her hand against his face. Her touch was so welcoming. He closed his eyes just wanting to feel her touch.  
  
"Squall, I love you." Rinoa's words had awakened him from his moment.  
  
"Don't say that Rinoa," he begged it sounded so final.  
  
"Squall I do. I love you with every ounce of my being. Do.do you love me?"  
  
He knew she knew that he did, but she wanted to hear it.hear it one last time.  
  
Everyone in the room was crying. Their tears all in unison with each others, but no one could quite match Squall whose tears were drowning his face.  
  
He looked Rinoa right in her warm, almond brown eyes. Their souls at that moment reached out for each other, grasping one another in a moment that they wanted to last forever but knew it couldn't.  
  
Through sobs Squall told the woman he loves "Rinoa you've made me happier then I ever thought I could be. You showed me light when all I could see was darkness. You made my life worth living, you made life worth risking, Rinoa you made my life."  
  
Sobs could be heard loudly throughout the room, but Squall couldn't hear them. The only one's he heard was Rinoa's and his own.  
  
"Rinoa Heartilly I love you more then I ever thought possible."  
  
Moving down towards her the tragic couple kissed. A kiss filled with so many emotions that it would be impossible not to see the love and irony of it all.  
  
Pulling away Rinoa grasped her Griever ring and after a weak sob she asked him.  
  
"Squall promise me something." Her voice was so fragile it tore at Squall's heart.  
  
"What?" He whispered.  
  
"Pr.promise me.you.you'll move.on"  
  
"I.I don't.thin. think I can .prom.promise that." Squall whimpered.  
  
"You.you have to."  
  
Rinoa's eyes were now beginning to flutter open and shut.  
  
"Rinoa!" He shouted, but there was no response "Rinoa!" He repeated. Squall's heart stopped when he saw her eyes flicker open with her last amount of strength she breathed out the word.  
  
"Promise."  
  
But Squall was never able to make that promise. Squall was never allowed to hear her sweet voice or see her warm caring eyes again for Rinoa Heartilly, the sorceress, the daughter; the love of Squall Leonhart's life was gone. 


	2. Mending the Future

Ch. 2 Mending the Future  
6 months later  
  
Squall stepped out of the training center drenched in his own sweat. Wiping his forehead dry on his sleeve Squall walked down the crowded halls of Balamb garden.  
  
It was between classes and most cadets were mingling. A few of the girls stood in groups pointing and giggling at him. Squall wished he would have stayed in the training center a little longer so then he could have come out to an empty and more importantly quiet hallways. However, this not being the circumstances Squall trudged through the crowds making his way to his dorm.  
  
Relief washed over the young commander as he shut his door behind him. He found great comfort in the solitude that his room gave him.  
  
He jumped into the shower letting the warm prickles of water ease his tired muscles. Why couldn't life be like a shower he wondered? Always comforting, always calm, always there. There was nothing to be questioned about a shower. It was the place where he knew he could be truly alone.just then he heard a knock on his door. The irony made him chuckle bitterly.  
  
Squall angrily got out of the shower wrapping a towel around his waist.  
  
"Who is it?" he growled.  
  
"It's Zell."  
  
Squall opened the door to find the martial arts expert standing in his door way punching invisible enemies. There was something about Zell Dincht that just screamed energy. Squall still hadn't decided if he found it amusing or annoying.  
  
"What do you want?" Squall asked irritated.  
  
"I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the bar tonight. It's been so long since you've been out and even Nida agreed to go out with us so like what do you say?"  
  
Squall looked at his friend. He knew why he wanted him to go out so badly. Today would be six months since Rinoa.  
  
Painfully Squall answered "Not tonight."  
  
"Oh come on man," Zell pestered "You could use a night out." "I said not tonight."  
  
From his demeanor Squall could tell that Zell finally got the hint.  
  
"Okay then I'll be in my room if you change your mind."  
  
Without another word Zell left. Squall shut the door behind him.  
  
He knew that Zell just wanted to help, but this was the one thing that Zell couldn't help him with, no one could. There was no way to mend his broken heart.  
  
Squall still in his towel laid down on his bed. It had been six months, six agonizing months since his world came crashing to an end. Not a day passed by since that fatal day that Squall didn't think of her. She haunted him day and night. Her beautiful image forever imprinted in his heart.  
  
It was unhealthy the way Squall was living, but he didn't try to stop it. He truly couldn't let her go he never wanted to.  
  
The day slowly went on when all the while Squall lay in bed his heart lost in love that could never truly love again. His soul lost in a feeling that would never feel again. Eventually the sadness engulfed him to the point where Squall couldn't take it.  
  
He got up from his bed, got changed into his usual entire then after grabbing his gunblade Squall left the garden.  
  
Balamb beach always had a rare beauty that few places could compare to. It was unusually tranquil, but this Squall didn't mind.  
  
Taking off his boots and rolling up his pants Squall sat down on the empty beach burying his feet in the sand feeling the waves strike up against his ankles. It was dark and the stars were glowing brightly the scene made him think immediately of Rinoa. How he wished that she could be sitting next to him enjoying the moment.  
  
Out from no where Squall heard a familiar arrogant voice call out to him.  
  
"Well, well if it isn't commander puberty boy."  
  
Squall turned around even though there was no need to for he immediately knew who it was.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" He snarled at his former rival.  
  
"I live here the question really is what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"It's none of your business." "It never is Squall, but you know somehow I always tend to make it mine."  
  
Squall sighed this isn't what he needed at the moment. Seifer walked up next to him Squall didn't move from his place in the sand.  
  
"So how long has it been?" Seifer asked.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Squall's patience was already running thin.  
  
"You know damn well what I'm askin. I bet anything your thinking bout it right now."  
  
He didn't say anything. Squall couldn't talk about it with any of his friends there was no way he was going to talk about it with Seifer. Who the hell did he think he was anyway?  
  
"So how long?" Seifer persisted, but still Squall didn't say anything.  
  
"Fine be like that you never had the guts to stand up for anything anyway. Why would you for her?"  
  
That was it, Squall stood up looking daggers at his old rival.  
  
"I'm glad that I finally got a rise out of you." Seifer says pulling out his gunblade and holding it an attack position. "What do you say Squall just one fight for old time sake?"  
  
Raising his own gunblade Squall glared menacingly at Seifer. It had been awhile since he had a skilled opponent. However, it wasn't about old rivalries or skills at the moment Squall just wanted to give Seifer an old fashion beating.  
  
"Let's do this." Squall mumbled.  
  
Seifer's eyes light up and without any transition he threw a mighty blow in Squall's direction, the Balamb commander gracefully defended.  
  
Their blades clashed again and again every strike as fierce as the last. They didn't say anything for a long time letting their blades do all the talking.  
  
At last when they took a break to catch their breathes Seifer asked.  
  
"Do you still miss her?"  
  
Did he still miss her? Of course he still missed her not a day goes by when he doesn't think of her, but of course Squall didn't say any of that he just stood there silently. "I know you cared for her it's not ever day that Squall Leonhart will go out of his way for a girl, but it's not like she didn't care for you too. I saw the way she looked at you; she never looked at me like that."  
  
Still Squall remained silent. Why was he saying all this? Without a signal of his actions Seifer continued his attacks this time, unfortunately for Squall, he wasn't silent.  
  
"You know I never got to say goodbye. I didn't even get to come to her funeral."  
  
"You could have come," Squall argued.  
  
"Oh yeah I'm sure that would have gone over real well. Last time I checked all of garden sees me as the spawn of the devil."  
  
"Do you have a point Seifer?"  
  
"Yeah, you're not the only one who misses her. You should stop being so self-centered and take a look around you."  
  
Squall eyed Seifer carefully "Did you still have feelings for her?" He asked swinging his gunblade at Seifer's head, which Seifer carefully reflected.  
  
"Not in the way you think. Like I said she never looked at me the way that she looked at you. I just wish.I wish I could have said goodbye."  
  
Squall staggered as he stepped away from Seifer. What was he saying? Noticing Squall's confusion Seifer continued to talk this time with his head down.  
  
"You still got a lot going for you puberty boy. I hate to see you throw it all away. I'm sure Rinoa would too."  
  
"What do you care?"  
  
"If I can't be on top then the next best thing is you. Were one of the same Squall, two sides of the same coin. I mean all things set aside I never hated you.well at least most of the time."  
  
"I'm not on the top Seifer not without Rinoa."  
  
"Who says she's gone? Maybe you just have to look harder inside yourself."  
  
Squall couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Seifer. He would have been better off going out with Zell and Nida.  
  
Turning around Squall started walking away when Seifer called after him.  
  
"You can't run away from it forever Squall. Someday it's gonna come back and bite you in the ass."  
  
Squall stopped, was he running? It never felt like running, but rather hiding. Somehow he realized that running and hiding our the same thing. He didn't want to run or hide it was just easier that way. Just to be alone with his thoughts of her. That was what he wanted, but was that what he needed? Squall didn't think so.  
  
He walked up to Seifer who was still standing there.  
  
"What about you? No one's heard of you in over a year isn't that running too."  
  
"I don't have the options that you do. If I had a choice.well it wouldn't be this."  
  
If they were the same coin then Squall had to admit he defiantly saw the light more then his other side. Squall didn't know if he could change the road he was on, but then looking up at Seifer he saw that he had jumped from road to road and he was right about one thing he didn't have the options that Squall had.  
  
"What would you change Seifer?"  
  
Seifer takes a moment to think before answering "I would go back a year, never commit the mistakes that I had made."  
  
"But you can't," Squall told him.  
  
"As much as you can't bring back Rinoa. That's kind of why you have to roll with the punches. Play with what you've got."  
  
Dammit, he was making sense. Squall hated to admit it, but Seifer was getting through to him. He was right about him not able to change the past. If anything the whole Ultimicia ordeal should have taught him that. Still there were something's about the future that Squall could change. He looked at Seifer.  
  
"Seifer given the chance would you come back to garden?"  
  
Seifer gave him a funny look "What are you saying?"  
  
"Would you or wouldn't you?"  
  
With a sigh Seifer answers "If given the chance I guess I would."  
And Seifer was given that second chance. After some convincing by Edea and himself headmaster Cid allowed Seifer to come back to the garden on the basis that he behaved.  
  
At first Squall wasn't sure about his decision especially with Zell and Quistis always on his back about it, some are more willing to forgive then others, although Squall could hardly blame them. Seifer, however, soon changed their mines he worked hard and kept his toe in line.  
  
Squall knew Rinoa would have been proud of him for helping Seifer. Squall still did everything he did for her. 


	3. Happy Squall

Ch. 3 Happy Squall  
  
It's funny and ironic how something's turn out. In a short two weeks Squall and Seifer had developed a strong friendship. Even Zell and Quistis had taken an unexpected liking to the rebellious ex-knight.  
  
Between Seifer's vigorous studies to become a SeeD and Squall's responsibilities as Commander the two spent much of their time battling in the training center. It wasn't the serious challenges that occurred to them a year ago, but more light hearted fun between two friends.  
  
For the most part everything was fine, but there had been one quarrel between the four. They were in the cafeteria having lunch, discussing the events that were occurring in Timber and Galbadia.  
  
"Timber's got to stand up, they have to declare themselves to the world," Seifer shouted making himself heard throughout the cafeteria.  
  
"Make them selves heard with what?" Quistis asks reasonably "Pitchforks and kitchen knifes."  
  
"Sometimes wars take more then brute strength, it takes heart and ingenuity."  
  
"Yeah well heart and ingenuity can only take you so far. They win battles yes, but they can't start them." Quistis pointed out to the hot- headed Seifer.  
  
"I think SeeD should help Timber!" Seifer yelled abruptly.  
  
"Why?" Zell asked with a hot-dog shoved in his mouth. "They haven't asked for any help."  
  
"They haven't because there too proud. I think SeeD should go to Timber and kick those Galbadians right out of there."  
  
Squall noticed the hypocrisy in what Seifer was saying. Wasn't he on the Galbadian side just a little more then six months ago? Squall decided not to say anything while he continued to listen.  
  
"Let Caraway deal with the Galbadians he's the one that's trying to put everything back together." Quistis argued.  
  
"One man can't do it all!"  
  
"I don't think he should."  
  
"Why should we put our necks on the line if they can't even ask us too?" Zell asked Seifer honestly.  
  
"Because not only is it the right thing to do, but.but it's what Rinoa would have wanted."  
  
Seifer's words caused an awkward silence amongst the four of them. All eyes wen't on Squall. Seifer meanwhile was biting his lip knowing that he had said too much.  
  
Squall wasn't about to help the silence. He had been concerned about the Timber affairs for quite some time now, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to get into a war that didn't necessarily wanted their help. Then there was Rinoa, what would she have wanted him to do? Well he knew the answer to that.  
  
Zell finally broke the tension when he shouted "Shit Squall it's you birthday today isn't it. We got to go out."  
  
His birthday, now if that wasn't the most unworthy day of the year.  
  
"No we don't," Squall stated. The first words to come out of his mouth during the whole conversation.  
  
"Yes we do man." Zell says getting up "Were going out to meet some fine ladies." He turns to Quistis "Sorry it's a guy's only night."  
  
Quistis nods "You guys go have fun."  
  
"Listen Zell I don't"- Squall started, but was suddenly punched swiftly in the arm by Seifer breaking up his sentence.  
  
"Your going, we could all use a good night out."  
  
Defeated and not caring enough to really argue Squall agreed to go. When he went up to his room he couldn't help but feel that it was going to be quite the night.  
The bar they ended up taking him to wasn't exactly the trendiest place. It was simple with only wooden tables and counters. The walls were bare, sparing a picture or two. The only extravagant thing there was the stage that contained a deep velvet curtain. Overall Squall liked it and wondered why Zell had never taken him here before.  
  
It was a rather small bar, but for such a small area it contained a fire hazard amount of people. They had to wait over an hour just to get a table. While waiting Zell and Seifer went to the out to the crowd and mingled, in the mean time Squall stood near the entrance and waited.  
  
It was his birthday, but Squall never found this day to be worthy of some sort of celebration. He could only recall one birthday that was worth recalling at all. It was just last year his eighteenth, of course it was his only one with Rinoa which could account for why he remembered it so fondly, even though thinking back nothing special had occurred other then her just being there.  
  
Squall suddenly felt a warm voice whispering in his ear taking him away from his memories of Rinoa. Bitterly he turned to the person responsible for the disruption.  
  
A young strawberry blond woman stood in front of him. She had long slender legs which she didn't try to hide with an extremely short skirt. She had a slim waste, her breast would be the only thing he say had any width to it and boy did they ever. Squall could see how some men find woman like her attractive, but Squall didn't agree. She wasn't even on the same level as Rinoa.  
  
The woman was standing rather close to Squall; in fact she was practically on him. She whispered into his ear again, but this time Squall heard her.  
  
"Do you want to go somewhere private good lookin?"  
  
Not even looking at her Squall answers "That's okay."  
  
"What?" she asked "Do you have a girlfriend?"  
  
"Yes," he told her flatly. Without any further argument the woman walked away.  
  
Squall's own answer startled him. He honestly still saw Rinoa as his girlfriend; he still felt every bit as loyal to her as the day she left him.  
  
Squall was grateful when their table was ready he gathered Seifer and Zell together and the three of them sat down. The two of them looked like they were having the time of their lives, Squall was defiantly less amused.  
  
With a laugh Zell teased Squall about the woman from before.  
  
"What was she not hot enough for you Squall?"  
  
Squall looked at his friend incredulously "You honestly find someone like that attractive?"  
  
Zell just shrugs. obviously he did.  
  
The three talked for awhile Squall was just praying they go home soon when Seifer suddenly stood up.  
  
"Fellas would you order me another beer I'll be right back."  
  
With nothing else said Seifer walked away. Squall noticed Seifer introducing himself to a woman. He could only see the back of her, but the appearance was striking. She was medium height about a head shorter then Seifer. She had shoulder length brown hair that had a slight auburn shine to it. She even from just the back was rather pretty.she reminded him of Rinoa.  
  
After a long drunken conversation with Zell Seifer finally came back with a grin on his face, but it wasn't his usual cocky one. Zell asked Seifer drunkenly.  
  
"Wa.wa did ya tak bout with er?" Zell  
  
"You just worry about not keeling over chicken-wuss."  
  
Zell who would normally defend himself against the nickname that Seifer had given him a long ago didn't say anything. Instead he passed out onto the table. Seifer looks at Squall.  
  
"Should we go?"  
  
"Please."  
  
So the two of them each took one of Zell's arms then dragged his limp body all the way back to garden.  
  
After laying Zell down on his bed Squall and Seifer were about to part ways when Seifer says to him.  
  
"You know it won't be this way forever."  
  
Squall gave Seifer a queer look. He suddenly got an eerie feeling that Seifer could read his mind.  
  
"How do you know?" He muttered.  
  
"Because," Seifer answered "No matter what there's always another turn in the road." Seifer walked away without another word, he had an odd habit of always doing that.  
  
Squall stood outside Zell's door for awhile debating Seifer's words. What if there were no turns left on his road? What if from now on his road was straight until it came to its end? The thoughts were too much for Squall to concentrate on. Giving up he returned to his room.  
  
Upon entering his bare white walled room Squall immediately spotted a card addressed to him resting on his mahogany desk. Curiously he picked it up and opened it.  
  
The card was from Selphie and Irvine. It read:  
  
Happy Birthday Squall!  
  
Always,  
  
Selphie & Irvine  
Squall brought the card with him to bed. There was something about the simplicity of the card that really struck Squall. It only said happy birthday Squall, but two words in that phrase stuck with him.happy Squall. He wanted to be happy Squall, his friends wanted him to be happy Squall, Rinoa would have defiantly wanted him to be happy Squall, but it was just so damn hard without her.  
  
Tucking the card away under his pillow Squall made his first ever birthday wish. He wished that he could become that happy Squall that he so much desired.  
  
Squall went to bed that night knowing that he had a long road ahead of him. 


	4. Dances With Strangers

Ch. 4 Dances with Strangers  
Time some how seemed to drag by. Despite Squall not being sent on many missions he was kept busy with paper work and such. It was lame work, but at least it was work that wouldn't allow his mind to wonder.  
  
One day during the week he caught everybody for lunch. They all seemed to be wrapped in conversation. Squall sat down and listened to what they were talking about.  
  
"How does it feel to finally become a graduating cadet?" Quistis asked.  
  
"Yeah I mean it only took you what fifteen years to do." Zell chimed in earning a glare from both Quistis and Seifer.  
  
Most thing things they were all able to put behind them, but Squall was sure that the snide remarks between Seifer and Zell would never go away.  
  
"I'm glad to be done with it." Seifer says to the three of them.  
  
"Well I'm sure you'll look handsome in your SeeD uniform just remember to save me a dance."  
  
Save me a dance? Why would Seifer being saving Quistis a dance? What were they talking about? Pining away his own confusion Squall continued to listen.  
  
"So Quistis you got a date yet?" Zell asked the former instructor. Quistis just sighs.  
  
"A couple Trepies have asked me, but I politely reclined. I don't feel like having one of them on my toes the whole night, but what about you two taking anyone special?"  
  
Zell starts to blush. "Ya know that girl in the library, Laila Vickory? Well I asked her the other day and she agreed."  
  
Squall saw Quistis smile at their friend. Squall, however, was utterly confused. What the hell was going on where they all would need dates? He was about to ask what they were all talking about when Quistis turned to Seifer asking the same question she asked Zell. "So who are you taking?"  
  
"Well there was this girl I met back when Squall, Zell and I went out that night. Anyway we've kinda stayed in touch. Truth be told I'm kinda excited that she's going to be at my SeeD graduation."  
  
SeeD graduation, how could he have completely forgotten?  
  
"The graduations tomorrow!?" Squall asked suddenly startling everyone.  
  
"What do you think we've been talking about this whole time man?" Zell asked laughing.  
  
"You taking a lady Squall or you planning on going lone wolf?"  
  
Seifer's question brought Squall to a conclusion. How could he go to the 'SeeD graduation' especially with a date? That was the place where he first met Rinoa.there was no way he could go.  
  
Squall gets up and announces to his three friends "I'm not going," and before anyone could argue with him he walked away.  
  
He escaped to his office where he thought he be safe. He had just settled into his chair when his door swung open and in walks headmaster.  
  
"Good afternoon Mr. Leonhart."  
  
Squall not looking up replied "You too sir."  
  
"You ready for the big event tomorrow?"  
  
Still not looking up Squall answers "I'm not going sir."  
  
Squall could feel the headmaster's heavy stare upon him. "I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice Mr. Leonhart. You are the standing commander of this garden. You will make an appearance at tomorrow's graduation.  
  
"But"-  
  
"Mr. Leonhart that's final."  
  
Squall felt like an eight year old boy. He didn't like being told what he can and cannot do, but the fact remained the same that the headmaster could in this case tell him what he could do. So Squall buckled down and accepted the fact that like it or not he was going to the graduation.  
Quistis came with Squall to the graduation. He really appreciated Quistis going with him. It made it so much easier going with someone that he saw only as a friend and knew that's how he was viewed back.  
  
Walking into the ballroom Squall took the chance to thank her.  
  
"I really appreciate you coming with me."  
  
"Don't worry it's my pleasure and I won't even make you dance with me."  
  
He didn't say anything, but Squall was very relieved to hear Quistis say that. He only danced with a woman once in his life and he was damn sure that was going to be the only time.  
  
The ball wasn't all that bad. He enjoyed hit time with Quistis and Zell and Laila, Zell's date, seemed nice enough. The four of them got along well enough.  
  
Sometime during the night Squall caught Seifer's eye. He was sitting along with his date at one of the graduation tables. Squall didn't catch what Seifer's date looked like, but he didn't really care either Seifer would introduce her to everyone sooner or later.  
  
In watching Seifer he had never seen the former knight look so smug and that was saying something. Seifer catching Squall's eye tilted his head in Squall's direction and raised his drink, Squall returned the gesture. He was truly happy for Seifer and considered it an honor that he was going to get the chance to work with him.  
  
A little later into the evening the ballroom was filled with dancers. Zell and Laila had taken up the cause and started parading around the ballroom. Quistis had stolen Seifer away from his date to get her promised dance leaving Squall alone at the table.  
  
Wanting to get away from the happy, dancing couples Squall left the table. He found a spot away from the crowds in the corner of the ballroom. He was secluded and holding a glass of champagne that he had brought with him from the table.  
  
This was all too weird and painful for Squall. From his current view everything was exactly like the night of his own graduation, the night that he met Rinoa, the night that started everything.  
  
He closed his eyes remembering her beautiful figure standing alone on the dance floor pointing up at a fated falling star. Suddenly from the back of his mind he heard Waltz on the Moon starting to play.  
  
And without any power of his own the night that changed his life started to replay in his mind.  
The floor was glowing with radiance. Each light in the ballroom seemed to be sparked by magic. The night sky was filled with dazzling stars that outlined the sky, but Squall couldn't see any of this. He couldn't see pass the drink that was in front of him, nor did he really want to.  
  
Squall couldn't stand being in the ballroom much longer. He just wanted to go back to his dorm room and sit on his bed enjoying his solitude. Unfortunately Squall knew he still had a long night in front of him.  
  
He was leaning against the wall; His eyes were grazing the dance floor. That was when he saw her.  
  
A beautiful girl stood alone in the middle of the dance floor. She was pointing up at the sky Squall looked up at what she was pointing at he was amazed to see a star shoot across the sky. He looked back down towards the girl; her eyes had actually fallen on him. Their glazes locked and all of sudden Squall felt his whole inside start to tingle. He couldn't quite explain it all he knew was it wasn't a bad feeling. What took Squall back was when the girl started walking up towards him. At first Squall thought she was going to go talk to someone else, but when she stopped directly in front of him there was no mistaking who she wanted to talk to. God, she was even more beautiful up close.  
  
"You're the best looking guy here dance with me," her voice spoke.  
  
Squall didn't say anything to her bluntness it really caught him off guard, not that he would have said anything anyway.  
  
"Let me guess," the girl continued "You only dance with people you like."  
  
She got on her tip toes so she could look him straight in the eyes.  
  
"You going to like me, you're going to like me." When she was finished she gave him a smile. Squall could feel his heart suddenly beat faster "Did it work?" She asked him her face bright and optimistic.  
  
Squall didn't say anything at first and he wasn't planning on saying anything either, but he figured she wouldn't leave him alone until he did. "I can't dance," he told her.  
  
She must have not considered that an excuse because she grabbed his arm tightly "Come on," she insisted dragging him to the dance floor.  
Squall awoke from his day dream. He still to this day found it hard to believe that one dance could change everything.  
  
Squall was about to close his eye's again when he heard a sweat voice call to him.  
  
"Hey there handsome."  
  
Squall turned around to the speaker, his eyes widened. There standing before him was a woman, she was utterly gorgeous. Her hair was about shoulder length and was a mix of auburn and brown. Her eyes were a brilliant emerald color with a swirl of blue mixed in them. She was smiling at him Squall got the oddest feeling that he had seen her before.  
  
"So what is a good looking guy like you standing all alone?"  
  
"I'm sorry do I know you?"  
  
"I don't think so. My name's Emma Winston." She extended her hand, Squall hesitantly took it.  
  
"Squall Leonhart."  
  
"Are you really? I've heard so much about you."  
  
Squall didn't know why she was talking to him. Most of him just wanted to leave, but something inside of him made him stay.  
  
"It's really beautiful here. It's a shame you only use it for graduations."  
  
"Makes it special." He told her.  
  
"Yeah I guess your right."  
  
"Is the rest of the garden like this?"  
  
"Not as extravagant, but beautiful in its own simple way." Squall wished he knew why he was still talking to her.  
  
"I would ask you to dance, but I have a feeling that you're not the type that dances with complete strangers."  
  
Squall could feel his heart tighten. He wasn't the type to dance with strangers.until Rinoa."  
  
"Pretty much." Was all he said.  
  
"My boyfriend said you were real quiet and shy, but he failed to mention how handsome you are."  
  
Boyfriend? For some reason Squall was disappointed to hear that. He suddenly started cursing himself inwardly for even feeling that. Still despite himself he asked. "Who's your boyfriend?"  
  
"He would be the one dancing out there with another woman. Seifer Almansy, he said you two were friends."  
  
It figured. Of course she was Seifer's girlfriend.  
  
"Yeah were friends."  
  
She smiles, she had a great smile. "I'm glad I'm finally getting the chance to meet one of Seifer's friends. It's so hard to even get a chance to see him let alone his friends."  
  
"Well it's going to be worse now that he is a SeeD."  
  
He watched her whole composure sadden "Sorry I didn't mean to dampen your spirits." Why the hell was he apologizing to her?  
  
"Its okay I already knew that. It's just thinking about it makes me sad. Being a SeeD is a dangerous life what if one mission he."  
  
Emma never finished her sentence because at that moment Seifer comes walking up to them.  
  
"There you are Emma I've been lookin all over for you."  
  
Seifer looks over at Squall. "I'm glad you finally got the chance to meet my bud Squall here Emma." Seifer pats Squall roughly on the back.  
  
"Well Squall is a pleasure to talk to."  
  
"I bet," Seifer said chuckling. He takes Emma's hand. "Come on let's dance."  
  
Emma nods then turns to look at Squall. "It really was a pleasure," She told him. Seifer again pats him on the shoulder.  
  
"I'll talk to you later."  
  
The two of them went off to the dance floor leaving Squall standing there. He didn't know quite what he was feeling. Luckily he didn't have long to ponder about it because Quistis had walked up to him  
  
"You glass is empty Squall why don't you fill it up."  
  
Squall nods giving her a small smile. "Sounds like a plan." He told her. After a friendly nudge from Quistis the two walked off. Squall at least for the moment forgot his worries. He just didn't have the heart or strength to handle them. 


	5. Some Fish Get Away

Ch. 5 Some Fish Get Away  
  
Seifer had officially been a SeeD for three months now. He had quickly become one of the highest ranking and largest assets to Balamb garden.  
  
On a weekend that the two gunblade specialist had time off they decided to take a nice fishing trip together in Balamb. Get away from the stresses that surrounded them. They rented a small boat and early one morning they set off from the Balamb shore.  
  
Once they had paddled a good ways into the large body of water the young men took out their fishing poles and cast them into the great blue unknown.  
  
The two at first talked about Seifer's first couple of missions. They apparently hadn't caused him any difficulties. Then again according to Seifer nothing ever did.  
  
After awhile their conversation began to fade away. The quiet crisp air and the gentle ocean waves were the only sound that remained.  
  
Silence, despite how much he said he wanted it, was never a good thing with Squall. It allowed him to think and Squall hated it when his thoughts were allowed to roam, because they always went to one person.Rinoa.  
  
Memories of past's times together toyed with Squall's mind. One particular event had suddenly popped into his troubled head while sitting in that tiny boat. It was the night that the garden was celebrating their victory over Ultimicia. Everyone else was out mingling, but Squall and Rinoa were alone. They stood on the Balamb garden balcony looking out into the stars.  
The night sky sparkled with thousands of lights each representing a new hope to Squall. Each unknown and alone, but still showed brightly never giving into the darkness that surrounded them.  
  
Squall broke his attention from the beauty above and looked at the one right next to him.  
  
He never thought anyone could affect him the way Rinoa Heartilly had. She had not only pierced his heart but his very soul. Her warm soulful eyes pierced his own, her bright smile lifted his spirit, her very being brought Squall joy that he never dreamed he could every feel.  
  
With his eyes only on Rinoa he saw her slender finger trace across the night sky as a star shot across it mimicking the first time they ever met.  
  
Squall smiled widely, it had been a long time since he had smiled like that. He was rewarded with the sight of seeing Rinoa's face light up.  
  
Grasping the courage he felt at the moment before it fleeted away he took one of Rinoa's hands in his own putting his spare around her waist. The two closed in and their lips connected. To be so close to Rinoa made his heart flutter, he thought for a brief moment that it was just going to fly right out of his chest.  
  
They pulled apart gazing into each other's eyes. Squall thought he should say something tell her how he felt.  
  
"Rinoa"- he began but stopped when he felt one of Rinoa's fingers on his lips.  
  
"I don't need the words," she told him "I can see and feel them."  
  
Squall smiled again. God, how in the name of Shiva did he get lucky enough to meet her.  
  
With a returning smile from Rinoa the two went to continue their kiss-  
"Squall, earth to Squall."  
  
Squall suddenly stirred from his day dream.  
  
"Welcome back, now if you don't mind I could use a little help!"  
  
Squall saw Seifer's pole being almost bent in half. He joined hold of the fishing pole and tugged with Seifer against the opposing creature.  
  
After a long tedious battle Squall and Seifer came out the victors pulling up the end of the line. Squall quickly grabbed the net and scooped up the ocean's creation. It was a gigantic fish with a fin the size of his shoe. The scales were colorful almost like a blurry rainbow. Squall lifted the net and set the fish into the boat.  
  
"Well Seifer that sure is one big ass fish."  
  
"What the hell am I going to do with it!?" Seifer asked him flabbergasted.  
  
"You're going to have to put it back."  
  
"Squall are you crazy this is a once in a life time catch!?"  
  
"Then what are you going to do about it?"  
  
Seifer looks hard at the fish. It seriously looked like giving up the fish was the hardest thing that Seifer ever had to do. Suddenly his face lights up and he starts to look from the fish to Squall. A glint grows in Seifer's eyes and before Squall could react Seifer shoves him into the ocean.  
  
Squall felt the cold waves splash over him. He struggled to the surface of the water plowing his arms through its force. When he reached the surface he let the air circulate in his lungs before he screamed at Seifer.  
  
"What the hell was that for!?"  
  
"It's either you or the fish Squall and I'm not about to let this beauty get away."  
  
"So what am I suppose to do SWIM back to shore?"  
  
"It's not that far," Seifer told him picking up the oars and starting to paddle away.  
  
"Come on Seifer," Squall called after his friend, but Seifer didn't stop he just kept moving farther and farther away from Squall. So without any other choice Squall started to swim to shore.  
  
It didn't take long for him to catch up with Seifer, but it did take some effort to stay on pace with the tiny boat. As Squall swam along he listened to Seifer rant on about this and that.  
  
"You know the troubles in Timber are boiling again. I really wish Cid would send some damn SeeD's out there. If he sent me and you out there Squall we would have everything taken care of in one day flat."  
  
Squall too exhausted from swimming didn't comment, but his mind began twirling. Rinoa wouldn't stand by and watch what was going on in Timber. She would most defiantly go out there and do something about it. Freeing Timber was always one of her goals. Squall actually felt quite obligated to accomplish that goal, but what was he suppose to do if he wasn't sent out there?  
  
Getting too tired to think about it Squall continued to listen to Seifer.  
  
"You know Emma; she's working for Timber's liberation." From that point Seifer went on with compliments. "God she's amazing, she's smart, funny, beautiful, determined. I really like her Squall."  
  
Squall remembered the first time he met Emma a few months ago. He actually hadn't seen her since, but Seifer would mention her from time to time. Although Squall never understood where Seifer got the time to go visit her since she lived all the way in Timber, but being who he was Squall never bothered to ask.  
  
"I think this can be really going somewhere buddy."  
  
"Great," Squall gasped his body ready to sink.  
  
"Do you think she's good for me?"  
  
Was she good for him? Squall didn't know why Seifer was even asking him, especially right now when he was on the verge of death.  
  
Squall never answered Seifer's question because land for the first time was coming into view. Squall made a push for it concentrating his very being on just making it to that beach. It was kind of nice for once not worrying about anything else.  
  
When Squall made it to the beach he collapsed into the sand not caring that its little pieces were sticking to his skin causing it to itch. He was just grateful to be out of the water.  
  
Seconds later Seifer's boat made it to shore. Seifer hopped out of the boat slapping his hands together.  
  
"Can you give me a hand getting this fish out Squall?  
  
Squall would have punched him if he had the strength, instead when Seifer's back was turned he gave him the middle finger. Seifer taking notice that Squall was in no shape to help started to lift the fish out himself.  
  
It seemed to be quite the struggle. The fish twist and turned all the while Seifer let out a steady stream of cursing. He finally had gotten the gigantic fish out of the boat. Seifer had a triumphant look on his face when the fish gave one last wiggle slipping out of Seifer's grasp and landing in the ocean where he wasted no time in swimming away.  
  
Squall spent his gained energy rolling in laughter while Seifer's cursing continued to make even drunken sailors cover their ears.  
  
Eventually with only their poles in their hands the two trudged their way back to the garden. Seifer had defiantly been in better moods.  
  
It wasn't until they were almost back at the garden when Seifer asked the question that he had asked before.  
  
"Do you think Emma's good for me?"  
  
Squall truly didn't know how to answer that question. Only the person actually asking the question can truly answer it. So the fact that Seifer was even asking him led Squall to believe maybe she wasn't. Squall never did any questioning with Rinoa.  
  
"Do you think she is?" Squall finally asked him.  
  
"I don't know. She's absolutely perfect and I love being with her, but.shouldn't there be more to it then that?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Shouldn't I feel a clear cut answer if she's the one or not?"  
  
"Not necessarily, at least not at first. Sometimes you have to look deeper within a person, see their heart and let them see yours in return."  
  
Seifer breaks out in a fit of laughter. "God Squall, it still surprises me how much Rinoa changed you."  
  
It still surprised Squall too, but he didn't say anything. They were silent for the rest of their walk back. Squall had quickened his pace dying to get into some dry cloths.  
  
They arrived inside the garden. The two mercenaries had only taken a few steps when the headmaster approached, his demeanor more serious then usual.  
  
The headmaster stared at Squall's soaked body but choose not to ask why. Instead he gave Squall an order.  
  
"I want you Mr. Leonhart to come to my office as soon as you're.just as soon as you're ready," he then looks over at Seifer. "Maybe you should come to Mr. Almansy."  
  
Both Squall and Seifer saluted the headmaster as he walked away. As soon as Headmaster Cid was out of sight Seifer turns to Squall.  
  
"What do you think that's all about? Do you think were finally going to assist Timber?"  
  
Squall shrugs "Not sure let's just hurry so we can find out."  
  
The two men hurried to get changed both wanting to hear what's going on as soon as possible, but even as he was changing Squall knew that whatever it was that he was about to get involved in it was going to be big. 


	6. Time

Ch. 6 Time  
  
Squall and Seifer arrived at Cid's office at the same time. Quistis and Zell were already there.  
  
Cid was sitting at his desk his expression dry and unreadable.  
  
"Squall, Seifer, Zell and Quistis," the headmaster addressed them "I'm sure your all aware of the circumstances going on in Timber. Well as of today General Caraway has hired us to assist Timber against the Galbaldian forces, but not under his command. We are to send many of our forces directly to Galbadia to join his troops, but he wants a few SeeD's to go immediately to Timber to discuss escalating importance of what's going on with the Timber rebel leader."  
  
Before the headmaster could say anything else Seifer steps forward. "I'll go."  
  
"I was planning on sending all of you Mr. Almansy." The Headmaster said in a matter of fact way. Seifer nodded his face turning a light shade of red for speaking too soon.  
  
While all this was going on Squall stood there thinking to himself. This was what Rinoa wanted so badly just two years ago. This was once her goal that Squall now brought upon himself and made his own. He steps forward to address headmaster Cid.  
  
"Headmaster, if I have your permission I would like to go to Timber alone."  
  
"But,"- Seifer was going to protest, but Squall turned to him.  
  
"This is something I have to do alone. Please if you don't respect my decision as your commanding officer at least respect it as my friend."  
  
Seifer studied Squall then pats him on the shoulder. "If that's what you want I won't interfere any further."  
  
Squall nods gratefully at Seifer then turns back to the headmaster.  
  
"Very well," Cid told him then turns to the rest of the group. "You're all dismissed while I fill in Mr. Leonhart on the particulars."  
  
Everyone leaves Seifer a little more reluctantly then the rest. Once they were all gone Headmaster Cid fills him in on what he was suppose to do.  
  
Squall was to take a train to Timber where 'he' will be found. The stranger or strangers that pick up Squall will bring him to the rebel leaders' headquarters and once there he will be told the rest.  
  
Squall left Cid's office and headed directly to his room to prepare for his departure early the next morning. Approaching his room Squall saw a figure waiting at his door. It wasn't long before he realized who that figure was.  
  
"Seifer, what are you doing her? You said you wouldn't interfere with my decision."  
  
"I'm sticking by what I said," Seifer told him firmly "I only came here to ask you not to do anything stupid. Watch yourself and know that were only a phone call away."  
  
Squall looks at Seifer peculiarly "I appreciate the sentiments Seifer, but honestly why are you telling me this?"  
  
"Because I know why you're going. You think you owe it to Rinoa and I'll respect that, but keep in mind your not the only one that owes Rinoa something. I.I guess if Rinoa was right here in front of me and I asked her what I could possible do for her. I'm pretty positive her answer would be 'watch over Squall.' So that's what I'm trying to do not only because that's what Rinoa would have wanted, but what I want to."  
  
He looks at Seifer his face honest and genuine. The two men had their hard times, but when it came down to it Squall saw Seifer as a brother and it was nice to know the feeling was returned.  
  
Patting Seifer on the shoulder Squall only said one word "Thanks." He knew Seifer would know the meaning behind the simple word.  
The next morning came fast, but Squall was up and ready. He left the garden for the Balamb train station at dusk. Amazingly his friends were also awake waiting for him at the Garden's entrance. They were going to walk with him to the train station.  
  
As they stepped outside as the morning dew crept to their noses. It was the smell of freshness that kind of boosts your spirits. Squall was feeling better then he had in a long, long time.  
  
They arrived in Balamb and his train was ready to depart. Everyone gave him a hug and wished him good luck. Squall was always caught off guard by the love and friendship that was given to him by his friends. He felt as if he didn't deserve them.  
  
He waved one last time at Quistis, Zell and Seifer before he boarded the train.  
  
The ride over to Timber was extremely odd. He felt like he had done this before. In many regards he had it was only two years ago that Squall, Zell and Selphie where sent on their first mission. Only then he was arrogant and snobbish about the mission. Now he was thirsty for it, he needed in a way that was almost beyond reason except to him.and maybe Seifer.  
  
Several hours later the train arrives in Timber. All Squall knew was he was to be found. Casually he walked over to the back wall of the train station and waited. It wasn't long before he heard a familiar voice behind him.  
  
"Squall, sir?"  
  
Squall turned around and faced Watts and Zone. Once Timber's outcast, once Rinoa's trusted friends.  
  
He didn't know quite what to say to the duo. He was sure they must have heard about Rinoa, but what if they hadn't? Would he have to break it to them?  
  
Squall stared into their sad, hurt eyes.they knew. Squall was at a lost of words the three just stared at each other. He paid careful attention to Zone, who Squall always had a sneaking suspicion had a thing for Rinoa, in case he did something like hit Squall. Instead to Squall's surprise he took Squall by the shoulders and said.  
  
"I know you did all you could for her."  
  
Squall remained quiet for awhile, but at least the tension had past. Once he was ready Squall spoke.  
  
"What are you two doing here?"  
  
They look at each other then back to Squall.  
  
"We came to pick you up sir." Watts told him.  
  
"I'm being picked up by a particular group of rebels." Squall told them knowing it was safe to divulge some of the information to these two miscreants.  
  
"That's us," Zone said as if it was obviously.  
  
"You guys are the main rebel group here?"  
  
"Yes sir," Watts said proudly. "Our leader told us to come here and pick you up She had received a call from Headmaster Cid earlier this morning."  
  
"Your new leader then." Squall started then faded off. It was ridiculous for him even to ask, nevertheless, Zone answered his unfinished question.  
  
'She's no princess, but she's a good leader and more importantly a good person."  
  
That's all that needed to be said.  
  
"Come on sir let us take you to our new hideout."  
  
Squall followed the rebels through the city of Timber. Squall had not been here in quite some time it all reminded him of when he first became a SeeD and of course therefore, Rinoa.  
  
Zone and Watts walked into the pets' store which Squall found odd, but choose not to say anything and just followed. They walked past the actual store part and went directly to the back room. It was an extremely small room; the three of them were all less then an arm's length apart.  
  
"Step aside," Zone told Squall who obeyed. Grabbing a latch that had been blended with the ground Zone pulled. A secret door now hung open and a staircase was shown.  
  
"After you sir," Watts said gesturing towards the stairs.  
  
Squall looked from Zone to Watts who nodded encouragingly. So after taking a deep breath Squall began to descend down to the dark unknown. Step by step he went until he reached the concrete bottom.  
  
The basement was dark and freezing. A lone light was shining at the end of the room. Gingerly Squall walked over there soon discovering under the tall lamp were two dusty old couches. Lying on one of the couches was a woman fast asleep. He continued his way to the couch until a stood only a few feet from it. A shock washed over his body as he recognized who was lying there. It was no other then Emma Winston.  
  
A bit startled Squall let out a noise that sounded something like a gasp. Emma suddenly sat up from her position on the couch and stared at Squall. He suddenly recalled Seifer mentioning that Emma was part of Timber's liberation but he never figured she was THIS much apart of it.  
  
"Hi Squall." She said groggily, yet pleasantly from the couch as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.  
  
"Hi." Was all he said in return. She was the last person he expected to find laying on the couch, but then again he never thought Rinoa would be the 'princess' that Zone asked him to awaken two years ago. It was weird how some things worked out.  
  
"Truth be told Mr. Leonhart when General Caraway said he had sent some SeeD's to our aid I didn't think he send.well you."  
  
"Many more SeeD's are being sent directly to Galbadia. I came directly here because I wanted to and please, just call me Squall."  
  
"Okay 'Squall' why did you want to come here alone?"  
  
"That's my business." Squall told her flatly.  
  
"I don't want to interfere with your business but if it has something to do with Timber then it's my business too."  
  
"It's a promise I made to someone I cared about." He told her making ever word distinct.  
  
"Fair enough. I guess we should probably get started on the plans." Emma gets up from the couch and starts heading towards the stairs. Suddenly she stops and turns back towards Squall.  
  
"Did.did Seifer say anything about me or I guess anything to you before you came?" Her voice was sad, but hopeful. Squall didn't know exactly what to say.  
  
"He really wanted to come, but I wouldn't let him." Emma nods letting on to Squall that his answer was all she needed to hear.  
  
The two of them walked back upstairs to the pet shop. As they were leaving the store Squall felt as if they were being too suspicious, but as always he choose not to say anything knowing that if he did it probably wouldn't even matter.  
  
Emma continued to lead Squall through town until, to his surprise; she stopped outside a small house. It was the same house that Squall, Rinoa and the others hid in while they were on the run from the Galbadian soldiers.  
  
"What are we doing here?" He asked.  
  
"We always hold our meetings at Chief Fox's home," Emma told him as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Without another word the two walked in.  
  
Everything about the little home was just as Squall remembered even the smell seemed familiar. Chief Fox was busy in the kitchen preparing dinner; it was like Squall had stepped into the house two years ago.  
  
Chief Fox stopped whatever she was doing to look at the two new visitors. She greeted Emma cheerfully.  
  
"Hello Emma everyone's waiting for you upstairs." She then turns to Squall "And who is this strapping young buck? Has he replaced that other blond boy toy of yours Emma?"  
  
Emma blushes "No, this is Squall he's a friend of Seifer's."  
  
"Well it's still nice to meet you dear, although you do look strikingly familiar. Have we met before?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
Before she could ask him what he meant Emma briskly leads him away. "I'm sorry, but they have been waiting for us."  
  
Squall grateful to get away from the chief follows on Emma's heels to the upstairs room.  
  
This was the only part of the house that Squall noticed a major difference. It was no longer the child's bedroom that it was two years ago. The room was now plane with only a small wooden table in the middle of it with six wooden stools circling it.  
  
Waiting for them was Zone and Watts, but they weren't alone. Also at the table were a man and woman who Squall had no idea who they were. The man was medium built with dark blond hair that looked like it hadn't been cut in weeks. Meanwhile the woman stood straight up. She had wide shoulders and a confident stare. She had real short hair that was a blend between blond and white. The two looked like quite the pair.  
  
Emma took a seat around the table, Squall sat down in the last remaining stool. Once everyone was settled Emma introduced everybody to him.  
  
"The two who picked you up are Zone and Watts I believe you're already acquainted with them. These two," Emma points to the two people who Squall didn't know. "Are Vincent Ralland and Kira Sadelle they are our underground sources to what's going on with the Galbadian rebels."  
  
Squall didn't like anything underground, but he choose not to say anything and let Emma precede.  
  
"General Caraway has finally requested for SeeD help for our cause of protecting Timber form the rebels. Commander Squall Leonhart of Balamb garden being here with us is living proof of that. Now troops are gathering in Galbadia and are preparing to strike the Galbadian rebellions." Emma turns abruptly to Vincent and Kira. "Vince, Kira is there any news from the other side of the line?"  
  
"Nothing that you don't already know," Vincent tells her. "Timber and Galbadian's preparation for war has been known for awhile and Balamb's assistance is of no surprise. Like you aware of Emma the Galbadian rebels are well prepared."  
  
"Well I guess now that were on the same page there's not much we can talk about at the moment. We'll leave for Caraway's first thing in the morning. Everyone should get some rest while you can because I have a feeling in the next couple of days you'll be needing it."  
  
Zone, Watts, Vincent and Kira piled out of the attic. Now only Emma and Squall remained.  
  
"You'll be staying here," she told him as they stood there awkwardly. "Chief will bring you up a cot and some blankets in a bit."  
  
"Thanks." Was all Squall said.  
  
Emma started to go down stairs when she stopped and turned around so they were face to face. Squall looked at her curiously it was the second time she had done that today. Just like before she asked him a question.  
  
"Squall, has Seifer been acting." She pauses for a moment to carefully choose her words. "Has he been acting any different to you?"  
  
Squall takes a moment to consider. "Not really," he answered.  
  
"Oh." She said sadly then going silent. She didn't leave after that she only stood there. Squall was never good in these situations, but there wasn't much he could do. He finally decided to say something or else she might stand there all night.  
  
"He likes you." It was a stupid thing to say, but it was all he could come up with.  
  
Emma looks at him and chuckles. "That's good all this time I thought he was just pretending," she said sarcastically.  
  
Squall let's out his own chuckle. "You know what I mean."  
  
"I do and thanks. It's just that he can be so hard to read sometimes. One day he's as sweat as can be and the other he can be so distant. Lately he's been really distant like he's confused or unsure."  
  
Squall knew he probably was, but he didn't want to say that to Emma.  
  
"You know when I first met Seifer he would weep over Raijin and Fujin. We would talk for hours about it."  
  
"Hold up," Squall interrupted her. "What about Raijin and Fujin." Squall watches Emma's eye's go big.  
  
"He didn't tell you about it?" She asked shocked.  
  
"It must have slipped his mind." Squall said to her cynically.  
  
"I don't think I should be the one to tell you." She was obviously sorry that she even said anything in the first place.  
  
"Just tell me where they are now."  
  
Emma looks at Squall carefully. Hesitantly she says to him. "There dead Squall."  
  
Squall stared blankly at Emma. He was never fond of the two disciplinary committee members, but they were still part of Garden, still part of him in a way and Seifer! Squall couldn't believe he never bothered to ask what happened to Seifer's posse. The three of them were so close.  
  
"H.how did it happen?" Squall stuttered.  
  
"There was train crash. Seifer was waiting for them in Timber when he heard."  
  
Squall remembered reading about the crash it happened a few months after Rinoa.  
  
"That's actually when I first met Seifer. I was at the station as he was being told the news about the crash. I consoled him, but we went our separate ways. We met up again a few months later at the bar in Balamb."  
  
It suddenly all made sense how Seifer ended up at Balamb beach alone with no other place to go. Squall felt awful that he hadn't cared enough to ask Seifer about what happened to his friends. He was too self-absorbed in his own damn problems.  
  
"I really shouldn't have said anything."  
  
"No, I'm glad you did. It puts things in perspective for me and don't worry I won't tell Seifer you said anything."  
  
"Thanks." She said her voice still unsure. "Well I better get going I'll see you bright and early."  
  
Emma begins to walk away when this time Squall calls after her causing Emma to turn around.  
  
"I think he more then just likes you Emma."  
  
She smiles at him. "I guess only time will tell."  
  
"Sometimes that's all you need." He told her and then adds "Add I guess love."  
  
She chuckles again. "I'll see you in the morning Squall."  
  
"Yeah see ya."  
  
Emma leaves the attic. Squall took a seat on one of the stools. 'Only time will tell.' Squall thought truer words were never spoken. Only time was in front of Squall and what laid ahead of him. It was only time behind what happened to him in the past. Either direction Squall knew he just had to deal with it. Because today had time, tomorrow had time; next month has it as does last year. There was no way to getaway from it the only thing Squall could do was make the most of it. 


	7. Reconciliation

Ch. 7  
  
Reconciliation  
  
Bright and early the next day Squall and Emma started out for Deling City along with them was Zone, Watts, Vincent and Kira.  
  
The train ride was awkward Squall sat in a small compartment with the five others. He had offered to let them use the SeeD compartment, but Emma didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention.  
  
Throughout the ride they all remained quiet. Two years ago Squall would have loved this silence, but now he dread it. It left him to ponder.  
  
They were going to go see Caraway. Squall hadn't seen the man since the whole sorceress assignation situation. There were a lot of things that the General probably didn't know like his daughter being the sorceress or Squall's undeniable love for her. He had presumed that Caraway had heard of her death, but there was that tiny fear inside of him that maybe Caraway didn't know and he would have to tell him. Squall didn't think he could do that.  
  
As the train rode on Squall recalled some of the conversations he had with Rinoa about her father. In fact father's, or lack there of was something the two had in common. Squall remembered going to Rinoa right after he found out that Laguna Loire, president of Esthar, was his father.  
* * *  
  
Squall didn't know how but somehow he was able to stumble into his room. Past memories that the Guardian Forces and himself had made him forget long ago were suddenly resurfacing in his head. He could no longer tell what was what; his mind was wrapped in an inner chaos. After all these years he now had a father. The revelation was startling.  
  
Squall collapsed into his bed. Laguna Loire, ex-Galbadian soldier, one time lover of Julia Heartilly, savior of the first Sorceress War, Esthar President.his father.  
  
From within his thoughts Squall heard a knock on the door. He didn't bother to answer it nor did the knocker wait for him to answer. After one knock Rinoa stepped into the room. Her eyes immediately fell upon his own. He saw sympathy and love shrine through Rinoa's eyes. He could feel his heart grow warmer as she sat down next to him. "Squall," she said taking his hand "What's wrong?"  
  
Squall replayed to her his conversation with Laguna. Her eye's widened at the part where Squall discovered who his long lost father was.  
  
"But.but then why where you raised at the orphanage?"  
  
"My.my mother Raine Leonhart died giving birth to me. Laguna when he had finally found Ellone sent her back to Raine in Winhill alone. When Raine died Ellone and myself where sent to Edea and Cid's orphanage. We spent a few years there together then Sis.I mean Ellone was taken away. Laguna said when he finally got back to Winhill and discovered Raine had died he had no idea that I even existed. He didn't even know until recently when he met back up with Ellone and she told him"  
  
When Squall was finished Rinoa sat there speechless. At last after many moments of silence she spoke.  
  
"This doesn't have to be a bad thing Squall."  
  
He glares at her. "How can having that moronic man for a father be a good thing?"  
  
"Having a family is always a good thing."  
  
"That's not true look at you and your father."  
  
"That's a different scenario."  
  
"Enlighten me. How is it different?"  
  
"Your father hasn't caused your family pain."  
  
"Yes, not being there for my mother on her death bed and totally being a void in my life for the last seventeen years hasn't brought an ounce of pain." Squall said cynically.  
  
"Fine Laguna isn't perfect, but I don't think he's trying to be. I think he just wants to be part of your life."  
  
Squall yells. "Why now!? I don't need this. I'm finally happy!" Squall looks into Rinoa's eyes his voice softens. "I'm finally happy here with you Rinoa. I don't need a father."  
  
Rinoa smiles at Squall wrapping her arms around him.  
  
"Life can be ironic, but take this as it is Squall. You now have a father. You have four friends who would love to say the same. Maybe you shouldn't dismiss it so quickly."  
  
"Maybe your right."  
  
The two grow quiet as they cuddle on Squall's bed after awhile Squall asks Rinoa.  
  
"Rinoa, do you want to change your relationship with your father. I mean he doesn't even know you're a sorceress."  
  
"Even with Guardian Forces something's of the past aren't so easily forgotten, but yes someday I wish we make commence with each other."  
  
Squall hugged Rinoa tightly. Families didn't matter to Squall as long as he had Rinoa he would be alright.  
  
* * *  
"Squall wake up."  
  
"Commander, please."  
  
"Squall, sir."  
  
"Squall wake up were there."  
  
Squall woke up with five people surrounding him. He jumped up startled.  
  
Emma let out a small giggle. "Come on Squall where there."  
  
Squall took a moment to remember that he was on a train and was going to talk to General Caraway and not in his bedroom cuddling with Rinoa. The realization was very disappointing.  
  
The six of them got off the train and made there way to Caraway's mansion. They where walking through the streets of Deling when Emma asked him.  
  
"So have you dealt with Caraway a lot?  
  
"Once." Squall said simply.  
  
"He can be an asshole, but deep in his heart he's a good man. He lost a daughter our age not to long ago. Seifer said he knew her did you?"  
  
To say he knew Caraway's daughter would be an understatement and an insult to his and Rinoa's relationship, but Squall didn't want to go into details with Emma.  
  
"I did," was all he said. Thankfully Emma left it at that.  
  
They arrived at Caraway's mansion. The guard upon seeing Emma immediately let them in.  
  
The six of them where brought to the same room that two years ago he along with his friends, Rinoa and General Caraway planned the assignation of the sorceress.  
  
General Caraway was sitting at his desk waiting for them. Immediately the general eyed Squall. Squall could feel Caraway's stare burning into him  
  
"Good evening," he addresses them his eye's not leaving Squall.  
  
Everyone, except Squall, replied politely.  
  
"I know there's a lot to discuss, but if it's not too much to ask can I have a moment alone with Commander Leonhart."  
  
Everyone nodded and respectfully left the room. It was now just Squall and the General. The two military men stare each other in the eyes. With great tension Caraway spoke.  
  
"My daughter.did she go painlessly?"  
  
This wasn't the question that he thought Caraway would ask him. Squall would rather have had a punch in the face, but not this question that was asked so painfully. Squall thought back and tried to remember the last breathe she took, the exact expression on her face.  
  
"I believe so." Was all he could answer.  
  
"You believe so?" Caraway spat incredulously. "Dammit Leonhart you were suppose to protect my daughter.even.even from herself."  
  
Squall looked at Caraway. He no longer looked like the stern face general, but like a father who had lost his daughter.  
  
"You knew didn't you? You knew Rinoa was a sorceress?"  
  
"I may not have been in touch with my daughter Mr. Leonhart, but I am in touch with the world around me." Caraway looks at Squall somberly. "Is that what killed her Mr. Leonhart?"  
  
Squall nodded "Her body couldn't take it. She had the heart, but not the rest."  
  
The two men grew quiet. They probably would have remained that way, but something was bothering Squall.  
  
"General Caraway, if.if you knew then why didn't you say anything? Even when the world was looking for Edea's predecessor.I mean I thought it was your job"- Before Squall could finish the general cut him off.  
  
"My number one job Mr. Leonhart is to protect my daughter. Regardless of how I failed that responsibility in the past I wasn't going to fail her when she needed me the most."  
  
Nothing else about the subject needed to be said. Squall respected Caraway and Caraway respected Squall. Regardless of anything else they both loved Rinoa. Squall knew right now Rinoa was smiling down at them.  
  
"I better retrieve the others. There are many pressing matters at hand." Caraway said his voice going back to his usual stern tone. He went to get Emma and the others when Squall called after him.  
  
"General Caraway I loved your daughter."  
  
The old general actually smiled at Squall.  
  
"I know son."  
  
Squall looks at General Caraway startled. "H.how?"  
  
"Back those couple years ago when you were both in this very office I saw the way you looked at each other. You both might not have realized it yet, but I did. And now as I stare into your eye's I can see and even feel the love. I guess as a father I couldn't ask for much more for my daughter."  
  
Squall looked at the father of the woman he loved. It made him wish terribly that Rinoa was there to share this moment with them.  
  
Caraway gives Squall a nod the goes to get the others. Once the room was filled again they began to discuss their plans.  
  
"We have all our forces," Caraway announced to the room. "We also have Balamb SeeD's and most of the support from the city of Timber; however, the Galbadian rebels have most of this countries support not to mention Galbadian Garden's. The war thus far is equal no force has an edge.  
  
Squall thought about it, he could ask his father, but even though Squall knew Laguna would assist him in a heart beat Squall didn't want to get Esthar involved. Even till this day Esthar was still recuperating from the Lunar Cry. However, Trabia who Selphie and Irvine had built into quite a force might oblige.  
  
"I could contact Trabia garden." Squall offered.  
  
"See what you can do Mr. Leonhart. Trabia's help would e greatly appreciated."  
  
They soon went into specifics all the while Squall came to a conclusion. This wasn't going to be the small war that he imagined. On the contrary this was shaping up to be greater then the Sorceress War.  
  
They discussed plans late into the night. By the time they were actually dismissed and Squall was able to crawl into bed he was quite overwhelmed, but he was ready for it. This war was going to set a lot of wrongs straight and in Squall's opinion that kind of reconciliation couldn't come soon enough. 


	8. Something to Believe in

Ch. 8 Something to Believe in  
For the next two days Squall stayed at Caraway's. At night they would plan and devise, but during the day when Caraway was busy with other affairs Squall would spend his time with Zone, Watts, Vincent, Kira and Emma, they were quite the crew.  
  
Zone and Watts had more to them then meets the eye. Squall knew he never gave them enough credit. Vince was extremely funny and witty, while Kira was most of the time serious still was very intuitive and extremely interesting to talk to and Emma.Squall couldn't quite pinpoint what it was about Emma, but he could totally see why Seifer liked her.  
  
On the third day Squall was given a surprise, Quistis, Seifer and Zell arrived at Caraway's. Squall had never been so glad to see his friends. It had only been four day's since he had seen them last, but it had been over two years since the last time he was apart from them.  
  
Squall gave Quistis and Zell hugs then walked over to Seifer. He remembered what Emma had told him about Raijin and Fujin. Squall felt great sympathy for his friend, but knew it was best if he didn't say anything. Squall knew all too well that some wounds never heal no matter how much there exposed. Seifer smiled at Squall and the two gave each other a quick hug. When they broke apart Emma was standing there looking yearningly at Seifer.  
  
"Hey there," she said shyly.  
  
"Hi Emma, how's it been going?" Seifer asked her cheerfully.  
  
"Emma smiles "Better now that you here."  
  
At that Seifer grins then wraps Emma in a great hug. Squall watched Emma cling on to Seifer tightly. He smiled to himself he was happy they had each other, they were both great people.  
  
Turning away from the couple Squall walks over to the dazed Quistis and the beaming Zell.  
  
"Come on guys," he told them. "There are some people you have to meet."  
  
Both Zell and Quistis jumped when he presented them to Zone and Watts. It was a joyful reunion. Squall even found himself laughing hysterically when Quistis told Zone she owed him a dirty magazine.  
  
His friends got along great with Vince and Kira. Squall couldn't remember the last time he felt so much joy, he realized how much he missed it.  
  
Later in the afternoon the excitement calmed down. Seifer and Emma went off somewhere together and Zell was conversing with the others. Only Quistis stood alone on Caraway's balcony. Squall walked up to her.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" He asked her.  
  
Quistis looked at him then sighed. "This and that," she said before continuing to look off into the distance. Squall joined her looking in silence.  
  
Eventually breaking the silence was Quistis who out from no where chuckles.  
  
"What is it?" Squall asked curiously.  
  
"You know you've changed. I haven't seen you like this; well you weren't even like this with Rinoa truth be told."  
  
Squall's face grew serious. "Maybe I just really needed to feel some joy again." He snapped.  
  
"Don't take offence Squall I meant it in a good way." Quistis apologizes.  
  
Squall's expression softens. "Your right though I feel.I feel different, more light hearted. I know this is the last time I should be feeling this way with the whole country on the brink of war, but." Squall didn't know what else to say.  
  
"I'm glad to see it Squall truly I am. I just want to know what triggered it."  
  
Squall shrugged. He owed it to a lot of things, but he didn't want to dwell on 'how' it happened he just wanted to enjoy the results of them because he knew they wouldn't last long. It seems like they never do.  
  
Squall looks over at Quistis. "You're not acting like yourself either Quistis. Is something up?"  
  
"I don't know I feel dumb, but being here and seeing Seifer"-  
  
She didn't get any farther because just then Emma walked out into the balcony.  
  
"General Caraway's ready to start the meeting," she told them.  
  
Squall nods "We'll be right there."  
  
Emma smiles then leaves the two to the way they were. Squall turns to Quistis.  
  
"Shall we?"  
  
Quistis grins and the two leave the balcony to join the others.  
  
Everybody gathered in Caraway's office. It was defiantly more crowded then the previous three meetings, but the presence of Quistis, Seifer and Zell was greatly welcomed.  
  
Once everyone was settled down Caraway immediately got started and just like that all Squalls' joys were swept away.  
  
"Galbadian rebel forces are gathering it won't be long now before all out war."  
  
Everyone took a deep breathe knowing what an 'all out war' meant. A lot of life was about to be lost. Caraway continued.  
  
"Balamb SeeD's and Timber forces have currently joined with my Galbadian army. All of you will be in the front line leading the battle."  
  
Everyone in that office gave a noble nod knowing and accepting that was their place.  
  
General Caraway turns to Squall. "Trabia Garden's forces will be needed. I have contacted headmistress Timlit and she along with commander Kineas are not so sure if involvement is exactly what they want to do. I want you commander Leonhart to go talk to them and see what you can do. You shall leave immediately. Miss Winston I want you to bring Mr. Leonhart to my personal aircraft the rest of you are to stay here and finalize battle plans with me."  
  
After everyone saluted General Caraway Squall said his quick goodbyes then left Caraway's office along with Emma.  
  
Caraway's personal aircraft was just a few miles away in the take off area. A pilot was already in the aircraft waiting. Squall turns to Emma.  
  
"I'll be back soon. The headmistress and Commander are good friends of mine. Hopefully things won't take too long."  
  
"Just come back safe. I don't want to fight this war without you."  
  
"Don't worry just don't start without me."  
  
Emma smiles and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Turning away from her before she could see him blush Squall boarded the aircraft.  
The ride was short leaving Squall's mind almost no time to wonder. For this Squall was grateful, but the moment was not to last forever.  
  
The plane dropped him off a few yards away from the Trabia garden. It was a bitterly cold walk to the garden. Squall remembered the last time he made this walk, only last time was a lot more memorable.  
* * *  
  
Squall rarely ever let on too much emotion, but at that moment he felt like singing to the world.  
  
It was deadly cold, Squall never cared much for Trabia, but it didn't really matter as long as Rinoa was there to share the bitter cold with him.  
  
The two of them strode the plains of Trabia making their way to the garden that resided for a much overdue visits to Selphie and Irvine.  
  
The Trabia Garden had really come along since the last time he'd seen it. Selphie had really worked hard to build that Garden from the bottom up. At first Squall thought that his bright cheerful comrade had bitten off more then she could chew, but Selphie had stepped up to the occasion and had done a fantastic job.  
  
They were several yards out from the garden the magnificent building was within sight Squall could almost feel the warm air creeping down his neck when Rinoa suddenly stops. She was looking at him with some kind of longing in her eyes. He walks up next to her and asks.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
Rinoa smiles at him. "No, that's the thing nothings wrong."  
  
Giving her an odd look Squall asks. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Nothings wrong. I'm here with you and I can't find one thing wrong."  
  
"And that's a bad thing why?" Squall was utterly confused.  
  
"It's not a bad thing on the contrary it's a great thing. My whole life something's always been wrong, but with you Squall everything is different. Things can be so wrong, but just by standing next to you everything is so right."  
  
Squall smiles at her it was like she was reading right from his heart. Rinoa starts to blush.  
  
"I'm sorry that probably doesn't make any sense to you."  
  
Squall grabs Rinoa in his arms twirling her around. He whispers into her ear. "I love you Rinoa." It was the first time he had said those four words. He thought it be a lot longer before he ever say them, but Rinoa always made him feel differently. That's one of things he loved most about her.  
  
Rinoa looks at him startled, but her face quickly softens. "I love you too Squall."  
  
The two share a passionate kiss. After they pulled apart they smiled brightly at each other. Squall could no longer feel Trabia's cold; his heart was too filled with the warmth of love.  
  
Hand in hand Squall and Rinoa walked light heartily to the Trabia Garden.  
  
* * *  
  
Squall smiled at the memory as he stepped into the Trabia garden.  
  
Upon entry two guards walked up to Squall they recognized him immediately as the Balamb garden's commander.  
  
"What can we do for you sir?" One of the guards asked him.  
  
"Would you please take me to see Headmistress Timlit and Commander Kineas?"  
  
'Right away please follow me sir."  
  
The two guards walked him through the garden. Trabia was surely different then Balamb.it was livelier. Squall continued his way through the garden until he arrived outside Selphie's office.  
  
"Headmistress Timlit is waiting for you Commander Leonhart go right in."  
  
After they gave Squall a salute the guards parted and Squall walked into the office.  
  
"Squall!" His friend screeched upon his entry. Selphie ran to him wrapping her arms around him. "It's been too long. Please take a seat."  
  
Squall sat down on one of the available couches. Selphie quickly joined him.  
  
"So how's it been? How's Quistis and Zell? Is Seifer still with you guys? Is there still a garden festival in the works?"  
  
As the questions kept rolling Irvine quietly strolled into the office. The sound of his voice startled both Squall and Selphie.  
  
"Selph, I don't think Squall came here to catch up." Irvine's voice was friendly, but judgmental.  
  
Squall looks up at his two friends. It been awhile since he had seem them last. He suddenly felt shameful for what he was going to ask them.  
  
Irvine looks sympathetically at him. "We love to help you Squall you know that, but this war you're planning. There's going to be a lot of loss of life and I'm not sure if your motives our enough for us to participate."  
  
"Were super sorry Squall." Selphie chimed in.  
  
Squall looks at his two former comrades earnestly. "Out of curiosity what do you guys think my motives our?"  
  
Both Irvine and Selphie look at him hesitantly. Irvine was the one to answer his question.  
  
"Because.because you feel like you owe it to Rinoa"  
  
"That's what I thought you say."  
  
"Well isn't it true?" Selphie asked him.  
  
"Partly, but not entirely. It's true that Rinoa wanted Timber liberated, but I don't want to liberate Timber just because Rinoa wanted it. I liberate Timber because I want to. Those people don't deserve to be imprisoned in their homes and then there's the Galbadian rebels not to mention the Galbadian garden. The world is already run by chaos and corruption it doesn't need anymore. Yes, I fight for Rinoa but I've always fought for Rinoa. This has more to it then that. I'm fighting because I believe in it."  
  
Selphie and Irvine look from Squall to each other. Squall watches an understanding go on between the two, together they turn to Squall. Selphie practically jumps on top of him.  
  
"We want to help too Squall!"  
  
Squall let's on a small grin. "Thank you guys that truly means a lot to me."  
  
Irvine puts a hand on Squall's shoulder and says to him. "Then it means a lot to us." 


	9. Efforts in Vain

Ch. 9  
  
Efforts in Vain  
With Selphie, Irvine, and Trabia's support Squall quickly returned to Galbadia. Things there were defiantly starting to boil over. The city was in utter chaos citizens were running around wild. Small fights had broken out between rebels and Galbadian soldiers. War was defiantly right around the corner.  
  
Squall when arriving in the city went directly to Caraway's mansion. In his office Emma and the General were having a private conversation. Squall cleared his throat to announce his presence. Both Emma and Caraway turned to him.  
  
"Leonhart," Caraway addressed him skipping formalities. "I'm glad to see you've returned so soon. Do we have Trabia's support?"  
  
"They'll be arriving shortly."  
  
"Excellent," Caraway said thrilled.  
  
Squall in the mean time looks around the room. "Where are the others?"  
  
"With the troops," Caraway answered him. "Miss Winston and I were just going over some final arrangements."  
  
"Alright should I go join the others?"  
  
"In a moment," Caraway turns to Emma. "Would you give us a minute?"  
  
"Of course, I think I'll just go meet up with everyone."  
  
"Very well."  
  
Emma leaves the two men. Caraway who waste no time to awkward silences immediately began to speak.  
  
"Squall," he said, it was the first time Caraway ever used his first name. "I'm going to make this short. If anything is to happen to me I want you to take control or rather leadership over Galbadia."  
  
Squall looks up at the general flabbergasted. "Sir.sir," he stammered "There must be someone better suited." "I don't want to heat it Squall just promise me."  
  
Squall suddenly remembered the last promise he was asked to make. He wasn't able to promise that, but this.  
  
"Sir you have my word."  
  
The two men saluted each other. Squall walks away, but stops at the door. He turns to Caraway.  
  
"I pray it doesn't come to that sir."  
  
Squall left the generals office to join the others. He arrived at the military courtyard a few blocks from the mansion in no time. Thousands and thousands of men where there waiting. Squall recognized some as his own SeeD's. In the midst of the crowd Squall found Seifer and Quistis.  
  
"Hey," he said joining them. Both Seifer and Quistis jumped. Squall was surprised by their reaction. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"Don't worry about it Seifer and I were just talking."  
  
Squall was a bit curious to what they where talking about that would make them jump like that, but in the end he decided it was none of his business.  
  
"Are the troops ready?" He asked them instead.  
  
"As ready as there gonna be." Seifer told him.  
  
"How was Trabia?" Quistis asked.  
  
"Selphie and Irvine have given there full support. They should be joining us soon."  
  
"That's great!" Seifer exclaimed.  
  
Just then Emma joined them. "What's great?"  
  
"Trabia's coming to our aide." Seifer answered.  
  
"Oh I already heard, isn't that fantastic?"  
  
The four of them were wrapped in conversation when they saw Zell along with Kira running towards them both their faces frantic and nervous. Zell was holding his right arm; blood was dripping over his hand."  
  
"My god Zell what happened?" Quistis cried.  
  
"There her, Kira came to tell me and on our way over here we where ambushed." Zell told them his voice shaky.  
  
"Vince is already out there fighting we must hurry!" The sense of urgency in Zell's voice was undeniable. Squall immediately took action.  
  
He commanded all the troops to attention. Quickly he ran through the circumstances with them. At last he shouted.  
  
"This is it!" Fight hard, fight smart and please lets all come back together!" The troops roared as they left the courtyard.  
  
The war head begun.  
  
Squall along with his friends were quick to join the fight. The rebels had swarmed the city. Everywhere Squall had looked there was chaos. Citizens running with their children in their arms, bodies falling from both sides, screams of agony. It was the atmosphere of war and even still to this day after all Squall had seen and done it still made him feel sick.  
  
With his gunblade firmly in hand Squall made his way through the crowds striking every rebel in his way. He injured most, but not all.  
  
The battle went on for hours. Deling city was up in flames. At one point Squall took a brief moment away from the fighting to look around him, it was all so surreal.  
  
He was stepping through the broken city when he saw a sight that made him want to hurl. Lying dead on the ground was Vincent and Kira their arms reaching for each other, but not quite connecting. His heart went out to them; they were good people who deserved more then that. Squall went over to them and connected the hands of his lost comrades.  
  
"Till we meet again." He whispered to them before moving on.  
  
Shortly later Squall caught sight of Seifer; he had Quistis lying in his arms. Squall sprinted over to them. Quistis chest had blood pouring from it. Seifer had his hand over the wound and was speaking to her in a soothing voice.  
  
"You're going to make it Quistis. Were going to make it and when this is all over"- Seifer stopped talking upon seeing Squall.  
  
"What happened?" Squall asked heart stricken with concern.  
  
"A rebel got her across the chest." Seifer answered as Quistis winces in pain. Squall bends down. "Come on Seifer," he instructed. "Let's bring her to safety." At that moment they heard a blood curling scream from down the street. Squall thought the scream sounded familiar, but it was Seifer who recognized it.  
  
"Emma!" He cried.  
  
Squall quickly turns to Seifer. "I'll take of Quistis you go get her."  
  
"No." Seifer said firmly taking Squall's hand. "Please Squall I'm staying here with Quistis. You.you go save her."  
  
Squall would have argued that it shouldn't be him to go rescue her but, not wanting to waste another moment Squall got up from the ground running blindly to where he thought he heard her voice.  
  
Seconds later he spotted her huddled in an alley with four rebels approaching. Squall wasted no time, he ran with everything he had to reach her. Arriving at the alley he raised his gunblade striking and defending each foe. Once every rebel lay on the ground he ran over to Emma. Her face was red and she was looking embarrassed.  
  
"Are.are you alright?" Squall asked her while trying to catch his breathe.  
  
Emma nods standing up and wiping the dirt from her cloths.  
  
"Thanks." She said not able to look him in the eyes. "If.if you hadn't come.well.again thanks."  
  
Emma starts to walk away when she stops and her whole body starts to shake impulsively. Squall walks up to her.  
  
"Are you alright?" He asks her again this time more tenderly.  
  
"Squall this isn't what I imagined. I always knew war was awful, but.all the life lost even the rebels." She looks at the four bodies lying on the ground. "Is all this loss worth it? Is it worth Timber's freedom?"  
  
Squall look at her sympathetically. He wondered that question everyday, even before he became a SeeD. He didn't know the answer until he met Rinoa.  
  
"We fight because we believe in it. We fight for freedom from those who claim it for themselves. We fight because sometimes there's no other way, but mainly we fight to protect those we love and care for. Why do you think I'm here?"  
  
Emma smiles, but then suddenly stops when a thought strikes her.  
  
"Seifer!?" Is he alright!?" Where is he!?"  
  
"Don't worry he's with Quistis. She had been wounded and he was taking care of her when we heard your scream." Squall bit his tongue when he saw Emma's hurt expression.  
  
"He's taking care of Quistis."  
  
"Yeah.well he had no other choice. He sent me to save you."  
  
She takes a moment then still frowning Emma says to him. "We better be on our ways. There's still a war going on after all."  
  
Emma only takes a few steps when Squall grabs her arm. "Let's go together."  
  
"I don't need to be baby sat Squall." Emma told him angrily.  
  
"I would like to know someone's watching my back out there." He told her. "Wars awful enough frankly I don't want to bare it alone."  
  
Emma looks at him earnestly. "Neither do I."  
  
Squall raises her gunblade and Emma picks up her sword from off the ground. Together they ran of to the midst of battle.  
  
No one ever said war was easy and everyone says that it is hell, but no one unless you've been there can truly describe what war is truly like. The battle went on for three long days. It was an even fight until Trabia arrived. The tides after that turned and despite that battle's horrible experiences Squall and the so many others came out victorious.  
  
After three days the rebels surrendered. Deling City was back under its own government, Galbadian garden was to go back as its original use and Timber was officially liberated.  
  
The night after the surrender everyone gathered at Caraway's. There was a lot of talk about rebuilding and such, but for the most part everyone was just laughing and giving great big hugs. Squall didn't understand this celebration he didn't think he ever would. There was so much death how could anyone be so happy so soon?  
  
When all was said and done Squall wondered away from the others and went to Caraway's balcony.  
  
He smelt the air as it breezed by. He felt its crisp coldness against his skin.  
  
"Rinoa," he said to the open sky. "We did it, Timber's free."  
  
Despite the effort and victory to Squall it still didn't seem good enough. Squall fell to his knees leaning against the railing. "I'm sorry." He whimpered knowing now that no matter what he did it never do justice to the woman he loved.  
  
Everything to Squall Leonhart, including his existence, was in vain. 


	10. Occurances on Infamous Balconies

Ch. 10  
  
Occurrences on Infamous Balconies  
The victory party was held a week after the rebel's surrendered. It took place where all the SeeD graduations were held. Selphie was in charge of decorating and she spared nothing, even Squall had to admit the room was gorgeous.  
  
What was meant to be a joyous occasion was still burdened with sadness. Many had lost friends and family. The image of Vincent and Kira still lingered in his mind.  
  
Squall sat at a table with Quistis, Zell, Laila (the girl Zell had been seeing), Seifer, Emma, Selphie, Irvine, Zone and Watts.  
  
When Seifer and Emma were off somewhere and Zell and Quistis were on the dance floor with Laila and Zone Squall got to talking with Watts.  
  
"So what are you guys going to do now that Timber's liberated?"  
  
"There's still much to be done, sir. I don't think Zone and I will ever be at rest."  
  
Squall didn't think he would either.  
  
Watts excused himself to go talk to someone. Deciding that he didn't want to sit at the table alone Squall got up and went for a walk.  
  
Squall let his feet guide him and before he knew it he was standing before the 'infamous balcony.' He was about to step onto the place that held so many memories when he heard two voices ahead of him. Squall recognized the voices instantly as Seifer and Emma's. He knew he should have walked away, he wanted to, but for some reason that he couldn't explain he stayed and listened.  
  
"Seifer, I was so scared of loosing you. I can't bare to imagine you out on missions like that all the time." Said Emma's scared voice.  
  
"No mission is ever that drastic," Seifer told her. "But going on dangerous missions is part of being a SeeD."  
  
"I know." Emma whimpered.  
  
Things grew quiet between the two before Seifer started the conversation again.  
  
"Emma we need to talk." Squall watched as Emma's expression grew rigid.  
  
"I have to be fair and honest with you Emma. Quistis and I.well you see Quistis and I are kinda more then just friends." Emma's eyes go big and her lip starts to quiver. "When.when I thought I was going to loose her. My heart literally stopped beating. It was"-  
  
"I get the picture," Emma interrupted him.  
  
"I'm so sorry Emma. I want us to still be friends. If you ever need any help don't hesitate to ask."  
  
Emma stood there blankly not saying a word.  
  
"Well I best be getting back to the party." Seifer said shyly.  
  
Squall hid behind a plant as Seifer walked by. He couldn't believe it. Squall saw the connection between Seifer and Quistis, but never in a million years would he have called it out.  
  
Squall looked back over to Emma. She stood sadly on the balcony leaning against it. Her mind seeming to be lost in a million thoughts and her eye's burdened with sadness.  
  
Something made Squall want to go over to her. He didn't understand why he wanted to go. It went against his nature to get involved in other people's business, but still he wanted to.  
  
Slowly Squall walked over to Emma joining her in leaning against the railing. Upon his intrusion Emma smiled weakly at him before she turned her gaze to the open sky. The two remained silent for a while letting the nights gentle breeze take over. Squall didn't want to say anything he just stood there. It was Emma who finally broke the silence.  
  
"I know you overheard." Her voice wasn't accusing it was just a matter-of-fact.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"There's sympathy in your eyes"  
  
Squall didn't say anything for a gate was unlocked within Emma and she started to bawl.  
  
"I.I thought I loved him and even worse I thought he loved me back.  
  
Squall didn't know what to say. She was talking about one of his best friends, yet Squall felt more sympathy for her then he did for Seifer. Not knowing what he should exactly do he settled for just listening.  
  
"It was really silly of me I guess. To believe in such details as love. I mean what is love? There sure can't be much left of it in this world, at least the true form of it. All love does is put on a façade. It never truly is what it appears to be."  
  
Squall didn't agree, but didn't dare say so. She was right in saying that true love was hard to find, but it's out there.Squall had it. From his thoughts Squall heard Emma ask him.  
  
"Do you think love is really out there Squall?"  
  
"Without a doubt." He told her confidently. "It can be a fickle creature, but when you truly find it." Squall pauses trying to come up with the right words. "Nothing can describe it." He ended up saying.  
  
Emma looks at Squall intently. "Have you ever been in love Squall?"  
  
Squall remained silent. 'In love' didn't quite describe it. Emma took the hint.  
  
She sighs deeply then says to him. "Well Squall it's been an absolute pleasure meeting you."  
  
Squall stares at her. "You're leaving?"  
  
With her face dismal she answers. "Squall there's no way I can stay here and.and watch them. It would just be too painful. I hope you understand."  
  
"But.but." Squall couldn't come up with a rebuttal. He ended up just giving her an understanding nod.  
  
Emma flings her arms around him giving him an innocent kiss on the cheek. When she pulled away Squall saw a tear running down her face.  
  
"It's not a forever goodbye right?" Squall asks her.  
  
Emma smiles "Let's hope not."  
  
The two stand there for a moment neither of them moving. Finally Emma sighs. "I better get going."  
  
"You need any help with anything?"  
  
"No, no I'll be fine." She starts to back away. "If you ever in Timber Squall stop by."  
  
"Will do."  
  
"Till then I guess," and with one last smile Emma turns around and walks away.  
  
When she was out of sight Squall turned back to the balcony. It was odd how close Squall had gotten to Emma in such short of time. She had just left and already Squall missed her.  
  
Eventually Squall made it back to the main room. He took his seat among his friends. He saw Seifer next to Quistis staring at him. Squall and Seifer glared at each other Seifer's eyes were sorry. Seifer did care for Emma, he just didn't love her.  
  
Seifer looked away when he saw headmaster Cid walk onto the platform. The headmaster's cough into the microphone made the crowd go silent, now all attention was on him.  
  
"It's my honor ladies and gentleman to introduce you to the newly elected President of Galbadia. General Charles Caraway. The crowd roars with applause. Everyone at Squall's table turns to each other in disbelief. President Caraway walks onto the platform and once the applause dies down he begins to speak.  
  
"This is a new era not only for Galbadians, but for all citizens of this country. Things will change and hopefully it's for the better, but regardless of what may be I swear in the name of those I love that I'll do my best to bring peace and harmony. Because after all the hell people have been through that's what they, that's what all of us, deserve."  
  
Caraway's applause was enormous. An instant standing ovation. Squall wouldn't be surprised if the people over at Balamb could hear.  
  
When that was all over people went back to their conversations. Squall was talking to Zell and Laila when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around he discovered the President of Galbadia standing before him. He whispered to Squall.  
  
"Can I have a moment?"  
  
Squall didn't say anything as he followed Caraway to that notorious balcony. As the two men stood there Squall congratulated the one time general.  
  
"Congratulations on the presidency sir."  
  
"I'll do my best for the people of Galbadia"  
  
"I never had any doubt in my mind that you wouldn't"  
  
The old Caraway's face grew warm. "You're a good man Leonhart. For what it's worth if my daughter was still alive you two would have my condolences."  
  
"Thank you," Squall said not quite sure what else to say. It was a little late for condolences.  
  
"I just wanted to tell you if you ever want to talk Commander to President, man to man or anything like that my door is always open."  
  
Squall gives in to a slight smile. Just then headmaster Cid walks up to them putting a hand on Squall's shoulder.  
  
"Can I borrow him for a minute Mr. President?"  
  
"That's fine. He's all yours."  
  
After each man gave a salute President Caraway walks away leaving Squall alone with the headmaster.  
  
The headmaster grins widely at him. "I think President Caraway had taken a shine to you Squall. Then again most people do."  
  
"Whatever." Squall said quickly always embarrassed at other people's flatteries.  
  
The headmaster chuckles. "I'm glad to see some characteristics don't change."  
  
Squall stood there impatiently wishing that the headmaster would get to the point of the conversation.  
  
"Squall since I've known you, which has been for quite some time, you have been nothing but noble, courageous, considerate, patient, caring and so many more qualities that have made you a great commander, but time changes things and there are new steps in life that must be taken."  
  
Squall thought that the headmaster was taking away his commander duties. Cid seeing his concern chuckled.  
  
"Before you jump to any conclusions you should know I'm not demoting you, but rather promoting. Commander Squall Leonhart from this point further you are Squall Leonhart Headmaster of Balamb Garden."  
  
Squall stared at the headmaster blankly. He uttered the words. "You must be joking?"  
  
"I joke you not headmaster Leonhart. There is life outside of garden that I want to enjoy with Edea. That's my next step yours is taking full control of the garden and I have full confidence that you'll succeed in that step."  
  
Squall still couldn't believe it. He wasn't ready to be headmaster; he didn't want to be headmaster. Why was everything just thrown on him? Didn't he have any say in his own life?  
  
With a knowing grin Squall's former Headmaster walked away. He was left standing there considering the momentous step that Cid left before him. For everyone's sake Squall hoped he was ready for it. 


	11. Acceptance

Ch. 11  
  
Acceptance  
His friends were thrilled with his promotion as were most of the SeeD and students who occupied the garden. He was congratulated wherever he went. The only person who wasn't ecstatic about Squall becoming headmaster was Squall. He had no time for anything. He often found himself wondering how Cid was able to manage it all.  
  
Time moved on as did life in the garden. It was odd seeing Seifer and Quistis together, but it was an image that Squall eventually got more used to. He sometimes wondered what Emma was up to, but the thought was never allowed to linger with how busy he was.  
  
Life was pretty normal for Squall, until the anniversary rolled around.  
  
Not a day passed when Squall didn't think about Rinoa. His heart was still with her and not even a year of absence had changed that.  
  
A ceremony was being held for Rinoa in the quad, but Squall wanted nothing to do with it. Without saying a word to anyone Squall left the garden.  
  
He was walking along the beach of Balamb. He was completely alone except if you considered his lonely thoughts and aching heart. His mind was wondering when he saw the silhouettes of three figures coming towards him from the distance. Squinting his eyes Squall caught who the three people were. They were no other then Seifer, Quistis and Zell.  
  
When they finally approached them Squall asked in a started voice.  
  
"What are you guys doing here?"  
  
"When we saw you weren't at the memorial service we thought you be here and I guess I was right." Zell answered.  
  
Seifer smacks Zell up side the head. "You thought he be in the training center you dipshit."  
  
Quistis glares at the two men then asks Squall sincerely. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Been better," he told her.  
  
The three of them looked at each other. Carefully Quistis began to speak. "You've been working extremely hard since your promotion Squall. Maybe.maybe you should take a break?"  
  
Squall looked at her in disbelief. "Why would I do that? Do you guys think I've been doing a bad job?  
  
"Not in the least Squall were just worried. You've been acting a bit.a bit distant." Quistis said trying hard not to corner him.  
  
"I've been busy. I have hardly anytime to be anything, but distant."  
  
"For the most part that's true, but there's something else."  
  
What Quistis was trying to say elegantly Seifer said bluntly.  
  
"We think you still haven't gotten over Rinoa."  
  
There it was, his friends thought he was living in the past. Maybe in his heart he was, but on the outside.  
  
"You guys have no idea what it's like!" He snapped. "What it's like to live everyday without her."  
  
"Squall your right we truly have no idea, but I know for a fact that Rinoa wouldn't want to see you like this. On the outside your fine you're running the garden great, but it's what's going on with you in the inside that worries us. Don't think we can't see it because we can. For awhile during the whole Timber liberation we thought you were fine, but now.that hurt looks back. We don't want you to do anything drastic just maybe get away for a week or two. Maybe visit Ellone and your fa.and Laguna. I'm only saying this because were worried, were only worried about you."  
  
Quistis speech was tentative, but Squall saw she only spoke out of concern and maybe she was right. Squall looks up at his three friends.  
  
"You three will take care of everything while I'm gone right?"  
  
They all smiled. Zell starts punching while answering in a reassuring voice.  
  
"You know it's in good hands man."  
  
Squall gave him a hesitant smile then looked over to the other two who were throwing him encouraging smiles.  
  
When everything was said and done it was decided that Squall was going to Esthar.  
  
When Squall arrived in Esthar he fell in the awe that always took him over whenever he visited the city.  
  
He remembered the last time he came to Esthar. Here just walking the streets was when one of the most memorable moments in Squall's life occurred.  
  
* * *  
  
Rinoa had talked him into going to see Laguna. Squall never understood why she pressured him to talk to his father, he never made her talk to her own. In the end for some reason Squall always gave in. Only this time Squall had interior motives for giving into her.  
  
Rinoa was taking in the marvels that was Esthar. Nothing against Esthar, but to Squall the true marvel was right in front of him.  
  
She turned to him and gave her heart wrenching smile. "I'll race you to the palace?" She challenged.  
  
Squall smirks. "What do I get if I win?"  
  
"A kiss," Rinoa answered her voice teasing him.  
  
"I don't know I think I want a little bit more."  
  
"Hmm.I guess I can think of something." Rinoa told him seductively.  
  
Squall grins. "On my mark one.two.three."  
  
The two of them were off. Rinoa was quick, but truly no match for Squall. Halfway there Squall slows his pace to Rinoa's where he 'incidentally' knocks his body into hers. Falling to the ground Squall landed in Rinoa.  
  
"What's the big idea?" Rinoa asked him irate yet amused.  
  
Squall without her noticing pulls a small ring box from his pocket.  
  
"You know I love you more then anything imaginable right Rinoa?"  
  
She gives him a queer look. "Is everything alright Squall?"  
  
Squall gives her one of his rare brilliant smiles. "It's never been better that's why." He stops talking and pulled out the box holding it in front of Rinoa. Opening it an elegant wedding band shimmered brightly. Squall took a deep breathe before saying. "Rinoa Heartilly will you marry me?"  
  
Rinoa laid there breathless she looks up into Squall's eyes. With a single tear dropping down her cheek she answers. "Squall.I.I.I can't believe.yes Squall.my god yes."  
  
After that brief moment when life seemed to last forever Squall felt his heart cry with such a joy that he never thought possible. He stood up then pulling Rinoa up from the ground. She jumped into his arms Squall held on tightly and twirled her around.  
  
He thought from that point on nothing could go wrong. That with just Rinoa on his side he was immune to all evils. It was naïve of him to think that way, but unfortunately for Squall he had to find that out the hard way.  
  
* * *  
  
Squall clutched his heart. How come the happiest memories always turn out to be the most painful? Slowly he walked to the palace.  
  
At the entrance of the presidential palace was Ellone waiting. She ran to him embracing him in a great big hug Squall in return patted her politely on the back. When Ellone broke herself from the hug she still held him by the shoulders.  
  
"It's good to see you Squall. I'm thrilled that you finally decided to come and visit."  
  
"Well it has been a long time." Was the only thing Squall could come up with to say.  
  
Ellone gently grabs onto Squall's hand. "Come on Squall I'll show you the room Uncle Laguna has given you."  
  
Ellone led him through the palace. They went down a couple corridors before she stopped at the door that they had arrived at.  
  
"This is it," She said opening the door at the same time.  
  
The room was plain; it had white walls with nothing on them. The bed was simple with only a down comforter. The only unique thing in the room, if you could call it that, was the small wooden desk in the corner.  
  
"I told Uncle Laguna that the room would suite you."  
  
Smile smiled at his one time Sis. "Well tell Laguna thank you for me."  
  
"You can tell him yourself tonight at dinner. He's busy right now, but I guess that gives us all afternoon."  
  
So for the whole afternoon Ellone and Squall explored the city. Squall forgot how much he missed Ellone's company and guidance. Being with her always gave his mind a much needed rest. In a way she was still the same Sis that Squall loved dearly back at the orphanage.  
  
They had just left the book shop when Ellone finally mentioned Rinoa; Squall could tell it had been on her mind the whole day.  
  
"So how are you holding up Squall?" She asked gently. "I mean it's been a year since." She didn't finish her sentence nobody ever did when it came to talking about Rinoa.  
  
"It feels like it was just yesterday." Squall told her. Ellone being the only person that he felt he could really open up to.  
  
She winces. "Has.hasn't any of the pain gone away?"  
  
Squall looks at her. "It did for awhile during the whole Timber liberation. I think then my mind was busy with so many other things, but once it was all over.it came back."  
  
Ellone looks at him sadly. They didn't say anything else. Together they silently walked back to Squall's room where they stood outside the door.  
  
"I don't know what I can say to make the pain go away Squall. I wish it was like back at the orphanage when all I had to do was kiss it and all was well."  
  
"I never asked you to fix it." Squall said more sharply then he intended to.  
  
"I know that, but I also know that there's one person who could help if you just gave him half a chance."  
  
Squall looked at her skeptically. "I'm not going to talk to Laguna Ellone, at least not about that. We'll talk about political matters, I'll listen to stories about back when he was a Galbadian soldier and then I'll thank him for his hospitality and finally I'll leave and not talk to him for another three months."  
  
"But Squall he's your fa"-  
  
"I'll see you at dinner." Squall said before she could finish that sentence. He turned to his room and shut the door.  
  
Dinner that night was predictably awkward. Laguna kept telling battle stories and ran off on political topics such as the few strangling rebels giving President Caraway a hard time.  
  
While Ellone kept throwing him glances Squall kept cursing Quistis for giving him the idea of coming here in the first place.  
  
Towards the end of dinner Ellone excused herself leaving Squall and Laguna there alone. The latter tried to make conversation.  
  
"So how is being headmaster treating you?"  
  
"Well enough." Squall replied shortly.  
  
"That's good. Ellone says everyone else is doing well."  
  
"Yep."  
  
Laguna was bad at this. Squall now regrettable knew where he got it from.  
  
"I'm not going to beat around the bush Squall. I know you're not doing well. I know you haven't gotten over Rinoa's death. God I know its hard getting over a love one's death, but sometimes you just have to face it. You can't hide behind the wars around you. Believe me I found that out the hard way."  
  
Squall glares menacingly at the man in front of him. "Thanks 'father' my problem is not miraculously solved," he said cynically.  
  
"Squall don't do this to yourself! For god sakes do you think this is what Rinoa would have wanted? I didn't get the chance to know her anywhere near as much as I wanted to, but I do know for a fact she would have wanted you to move on. She would want you to prosper. She having wanted you to jump from the ground showing the world the great man you have become. The man that she loved and the man that your father is dead proud of."  
  
Squall looked straight into his father's eyes. Only concern and love was showing.  
  
"I know it's hard as hell," Laguna continued. "And I can't promise that the pain will ever completely go away, but I can tell you that you're not alone. You don't always have to put on a face. It might work towards some, but not towards the one's that really care about you."  
  
Squall gets up from the table and starts walking away when Laguna grabs his shoulder.  
  
"You don't ever forget her Squall. Their memories are always etched in our hearts, but what determines someone's true love is what they do when all the cards are folded and you make the life that she would want you to have."  
  
Squall again looks in his father's eyes, this time they were breaking down.  
  
"You keep saying she 'would,' I don't want any would's. I want her here in front of me telling me what she 'does' want." Squall cried falling against his father.  
  
Laguna holds his son as Squall cried. "I miss her so much."  
  
Laguna patted Squall's back. "I know son. I know."  
  
The two men stayed in that dining room the whole night talking the night away. The pain for Squall of losing Rinoa didn't go away, it didn't even lighten, but he did come to a realization. He might have many father figures such as Cid Kramer and President Caraway, but nothing beats the real thing. Squall was grateful to realize this while he still had time to experience it. 


	12. Surprises of the Unsure

Ch. 12  
  
Surprises of the Unsure  
  
When Squall finally returned to Balamb the transaction went quite well. Quistis and the others did an excellent job of running things while he was gone. As for Squall re-taking his place as Headmaster, his desire and heart now had a whole knew take on everything. It was a new tide coming in and even though the past stayed ashore Squall was at least looking into the horizon.  
  
Although being headmaster was extremely demanding Squall still made the time for his friends. Despite how awkward it could be.  
  
Quistis and Seifer had been going strong and steady for quite some time now. He was happy for his friends, you only had to watch them and you immediately that things were the way they were suppose to be. However, Squall regrettable always felt a tinge of pain whenever he saw them together. It reminded him too much of Rinoa and himself.  
  
Quistis and Seifer weren't the only one's feeling the love in the air. Zell had seemed to have found someone special in Laila. One night Zell even had the guts to tell Squall that he seriously thought that Laila was 'the one.'  
  
As much as Squall loved seeing his friends happy it was at times hard. Especially when it was just the five of them.  
  
On the night that they heard that Selphie and Irvine were getting married was when it hit Squall the hardest. They were all sitting around the cafeteria table listening to Zell poking fun at the dynamic couple.  
  
"Those two married. I thought the world would stop turning or something before they would commit to something like that."  
  
"They've been together for three years without any problems." Quistis countered Zell's exaggeration. "I'm almost surprised they hadn't done it sooner."  
  
Zell shrugs. "I guess either way I'm thrilled for them."  
  
Quistis turns to Squall. "Selphie told me Irvine is having you be his best man."  
  
"It was a bit of a shock," Squall admitted. "I thought he have one of his Trabia or Galbadian buddies do it."  
  
"Squall I sometimes think you underestimate the effect you have on others." Quistis told him Squall replied with his famously predictable line.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Zell looks at everyone seriously. "Can you imagine what our lives will be like once we take that next step? And all the steps after that? I mean our lives our just cruising around every corner and pretty soon before any of us know it were going to be there."  
  
Everyone stares at Zell. Although his point was well spoken no one thought Zell would actually be the first to speak it.  
  
Seifer was the only one to smile at Zell. "Your right Zell, but you want to know something?" Seifer turns to Quistis. "As long as you're with me I don't care where I turn."  
  
Suddenly the night had become a couple thing. Everyone's attention was on their significant other. Saying sweet nothings into each other's ears and so forth. It became more then Squall could sit and take. Suddenly without a word to the others Squall got up from his seat and walked away. He was sure they all looked at him, but it didn't matter all Squall knew was he had to get out of there.  
  
Squall didn't feel like staying in the garden. He decided to take a walk over to Balamb were he went into the coffee shop that was open all night. He found an empty seat in the corner of the shop where he enjoyed a latté and for at least that one moment, some peace of mind.  
  
It was shortly after he arrived that he noticed a familiar figure sitting with someone only a couple booths away from his.  
  
Emma Winston was the one sitting in the booth. Squall might have said hi if it wasn't for the other man with her. Instead against his own will he watched.  
  
Emma seemed to be in intense conversation with the person accompanying her, Squall caught tears rolling down her face. Abruptly Emma stood up from her seat and left the shop.  
  
Squall didn't know why, but he was swept with the same feeling he felt that night when Seifer broke up with Emma on the balcony. It wasn't exactly a feeling he could control so against his better judgment he got up from his seat and chased after her.  
  
He found her standing on the sandy beach. The same place Seifer found him a little over a year ago. Squall watched Emma, she was completely beautiful her auburn hair was blowing wildly with the ocean breeze and her eye's where so set on the open ocean in front of her. Her figure stood there in a vulnerable state, Squall never looked upon a soul so lost except for the times that he happened to look into a mirror.  
  
Hesitantly Squall walked up to her. Emma heard his footsteps and jumped around.  
  
"Squall," she screamed "What in the world are you doing here!?"  
  
"I.I." Suddenly Squall felt like some freak stalker as he tried to explain himself.  
  
"I was in the coffee shop and I saw you run off crying." Squall paused feeling like an idiot. "I.I just wanted to make sure you were okay."  
  
Emma smiled at him. "You always seem to be there for me Squall." She quickly wiped the tears from her face. "So Squall how's it going?"  
  
Squall wasn't fooled by her adverting question; he was the king of those. "Alright," he told her. "How about you?"  
  
Emma looked back up at him tears were rolling down her eyes, but you could see how hard she was trying to keep them at bay.  
  
"I just don't know anymore Squall." Her voice was exasperated. "Is there something wrong with me? I'd been seeing this guy; I wasn't going to let myself get attached. My heart after the whole Seifer ordeal wouldn't be able to take anymore heartache, but here I am."  
  
Squall inches closer to her. "It's not you Emma I promise you that. If that guy in there didn't want you then he's a fool and as for Seifer.it wasn't you with him."  
  
Immediately Squall wished he hadn't mentioned Seifer after he saw the saddened expression it left upon her face.  
  
"How.how is Seifer doing?" Her voice was curious, but unsure if she really wanted to hear the answer.  
  
"He's alright."  
  
"That's good." Was all Emma said before the two of them grew quiet.  
  
After a while when things were getting awkward Emma asked him.  
  
"So I heard you got promoted to headmaster. How's that going?"  
  
"Okay I guess. I stay pretty busy which has its pros and cons."  
  
She smiles brightly at him; it made a drastic change in her appearance. Squall had to take a step back in awe of it.  
  
"I always knew you make a fantastic leader."  
  
"Why do you say that?" Squall asked honestly curious.  
  
Emma steps up to him her eyes locking with his own. She places her hand on the right side of his chest.  
  
"Because you have the heart of one."  
  
Embarrassed Squall takes a step back from her touch. His face turning a light shade of pink.  
  
"You even have the modesty." Emma added.  
  
Giving into the tiniest smile he asked her, wanting to change the subject.  
  
"So how are things in Timber these days?"  
  
Emma smiles brightly. "Everything is coming along great. The people are really taking pride in their city. Right now were in the middle of constructing the city hall."  
  
"So you're not going with a president?"  
  
"No Timber's seen enough of a monarchy to last a lifetime."  
  
Squall smirks. "Yeah I'll say it has."  
  
Suddenly Emma's eyes light up and she asks. "Why don't you come and visit? I'll give you the first tour of Timber as a free city," her voice suddenly goes dull. "That is if you aren't busy."  
  
Squall thought about it for a moment. It wouldn't hurt to go see what's going on and anyway it's not like he needs anyone's approval. On top of that it might be a nice get away from his friends for a couple of days. As much as he loved them, being the odd man out was getting old.  
  
"If you'll have me?" Was Squall's end reply to her.  
  
Emma wraps Squall in a hug, even more shocking was that Squall hugged her back.  
  
They spent the rest of the night planning his trip. Squall was to stay there for three days. Even though that was a long time to be away from the Garden it surprised Squall that he was actually looking forward to it. He found a lot of things surprising him lately and he didn't know what to quite make of it. 


	13. A Word to Trust

Ch. 13  
  
A Word to Trust  
  
No one questioned his departure to Timber. No one knew it was at Emma's request and no one knew that he needed time away from his dearest friends, it was easier that way. They just went along with it telling him they take care of everything. Squall was very grateful for this.  
  
Two days later after his encounter with Emma Squall arrived in Timber. There waiting at the station was Emma.  
  
"I'm glad you made it," she said cheerfully.  
  
"Well I said I would."  
  
She looks at him her expression hardened. "There are few people in this world that actually do what they say."  
  
In a dead serious voice he tells her. "Then I guess I'm one of those few."  
  
They looked at each other intensely. Squall got the feeling that she was analyzing him. Then after that brief moment her face brightens up.  
  
"Shell I bring you to your residence for the next few days."  
  
Squall didn't say anything he just let Emma lead the way. She took him to a small house in the middle of town.  
  
"Welcome to my home." She said to him proudly.  
  
"This is your own place?"  
  
"Yeah, after Seifer broke up with me and I came back to Timber, and the first thing I did was buy this place. It's small, but I can call it my own."  
  
"Maybe some things work out for the best." He told her not believing a word of it. In the end things never work out. In the end you always turn out alone, but for Emma's sake Squall tried to stay optimistic.  
  
"Maybe." Was all Emma said in return and they left it at that.  
  
Emma gave him a quick tour of the house. It wasn't much with only a small kitchen, a smaller bathroom, and two bedrooms, neither much larger then the area of one bed. Despite all that Emma was extremely proud of her home and Squall envied her for that.  
  
"You'll be staying here." She said pointing to one of the smaller rooms. "Sorry it's not very big."  
  
Squall made a face at Emma showing her that he didn't care about the size of the room at all. The fact that they would be staying in the same house alone, however, did bother him.  
  
"And you'll be here too?" He asked stupidly.  
  
"Well you don't expect me to sleep in the street do you?"  
  
Squall forced out a laugh. "No, it's just.just."  
  
"Just what?" Emma asked while giving a noble attempt not to boil over in mass hysterics.  
  
"Awkward." Squall said while making sure not to look her in the eyes. He was a bit surprised when he heard her chuckle.  
  
"I'm not going to bite you or anything."  
  
"I'm sorry," Squall apologized. "I'm very grateful for you letting me into your home."  
  
Emma smiled. "Come on leave your bag here I want to show you around town." Together they left the house.  
  
Timber had gone through some major rebuilding since Squall had last seen it. A lot of the shops were rebuilt and many of the homes had also seen some renovations not to mentions the dozens of new homes that were added to the expanding city. City Hall was also shaping up to be quite the impressive building.  
  
Like her house Emma showed off everything with such pride that Squall could feel it glow off her body.  
  
"Emma this is all really something to be proud of." He told her looking around the city. "Few people, even the best of leaders could have accomplished half of what you have done here. The other day you said I made a great leader, but coming here I see I don't even hold a candle to you."  
  
Emma blushes and turns away from him bashfully.  
  
"Now look who's the modest one." He teased.  
  
Emma turns back towards him and smiles brightly; she had a smile that always made Squall weak in the knees. Suddenly she grabs him by the arm.  
  
"Come on there's still one last thing I want to show you."  
  
She leads him away from the city hall and started to move towards the middle of the city. From the distance Squall see's a statue. When he got closer Squall gasped and stopped abruptly in his place. He felt his breathe leave his lungs and his heart clench. There framed into a statue stood Rinoa. Somewhere behind his mind he heard Emma explain.  
  
"It's a memorial to Rinoa Heartilly. She started the fight for Timber's liberation, but under bizarre circumstances she passed away. Zone and Watts, who knew her well, asked if they could put the statue up I thought it was a great idea. She sounded like an amazing person. I want to soon have a wall put up with Vince, Kira and everyone else's name who gave their lives for Timber's liberation to be put behind miss Heartilly's statue."  
  
Squall stopped listening to Emma and moved closer to the statue. He ran his hand across Rinoa's stone face. He closed his eyes remembering what it was like to touch her silky skin, the touch of her lips against his own, and the warmth that filled his heart whenever she was by him.  
  
Without even realizing it tears began to pour down Squall's cheeks. Through his teary-eyed vision Squall read the words that were engraved into Rinoa's statue.  
Rinoa Heartilly, for your determination and heart you'll always be with us  
Squall fell down to his knees. That was a lie it was all lies. Rinoa was no longer with him she had just become someone that people talk about in pass tense. Something Squall could only hang on to by memory because now that was all she was, one sweet memory.  
  
Squall felt a body kneel down next to him. He looked up into the eyes of Emma Winston they were filled with a deep sympathy and gentleness that Squall thought he never seen again. In a whispered voice Emma says to him.  
  
"She was the woman that you loved wasn't she?"  
  
Squall started to sob harder, he felt Emma take him into her arms. Her voice cooed.  
  
"It's alright Squall," he heard her own tears start to come as she replied the same thing over and over again. "It's alright."  
  
"I.I loved her so much." Squall whispered struggling to find his voice.  
  
"I heard she was incredible." Emma said to him her voice comforting.  
  
Squall didn't know why he did it, but right there and then while they both lay on the ground he told her Rinoa and his whole story. He couldn't control it. It was like the tale had a mind of its own and it was using Squall's voice.  
  
He started at the ball where it all began and left out no details. He told her about their first mission together, Rinoa being possessed, the whole Ultimicia affair and then all the events that occurred after. Everything leading to her last moments where she asked Squall a promise that he couldn't make.  
  
When everything was said Squall felt an odd relief wash over his body.  
  
Emma continued to hold him as he finished his story. Rain started to fall soaking the two, but they didn't move. Together they sat there not saying a word.  
  
The rest of the trip was considerable less dramatic. Late that night they left the memorial and walked back to Emma's house. They stood in her kitchen their cloths drenched and dripping continuous amounts of water onto the wooden floor, but despite that they didn't move they just stared at each other. Words not quite able to describe the moment, words not able to describe the emotions going on inside of him. The night ended when Emma kissed him on the forehead and went to bed. Squall's lips twitched into the smallest smile. After that he followed Emma's example and went to bed.  
  
The morning after Squall's breakdown neither he nor Emma said anything about what had happened. There was no awkwardness, no embarrassment it was like it never happened. The only difference was now when he caught Emma's eye there was something that wasn't there before, though he wasn't sure what it was.  
  
The next couple of days went by extremely fast. He and Emma would walk around town helping anyone in the need of four extra hands.  
  
One night Zone and Watts had them over for dinner. Although the food was somewhat questionable it was a rather enjoyable night. He and actually laughed until his stomach hurt. Emma, Zone and Watts all gave him odd looks, but it was worth it just to have that pure feeling of joy again.  
  
When it was time to leave Emma had walked him to the train station. They didn't say anything as they sat and waited on one lonely bench at the far end of the station.  
  
The train station had just called out for boarding the train to Balamb when Emma asked him.  
  
"This isn't it is it?" Her voice sounded small and sad.  
  
"What are you talking about?" He asked confused.  
  
"You'll go back to Balamb and I'll stay here. We won't ever see each other again unless by some chance encounter and even then."  
  
Squall waits for her patiently to finish her sentence. He didn't want this to be it either.  
  
"Even then it might not be the same." She said at last.  
  
He watches as Emma's eyes fall down to her lap. Hesitantly at first Squall lifts up her chin so there eyes meet.  
  
"This won't be it you have my word.if you trust it?"  
  
Weakly Emma smiles. "It's the only one I do."  
  
Squall picks up her hand kissing it gently.  
  
"Till next time." He says getting up and boarding his train.  
  
Out the window of the train Squall looks at Emma who waves at him. She did something to him. She made him feel something that he hadn't felt in along time. Although, it was amazing to feel something like this again it also at the same time scared the shit out of him. 


	14. For the Best

Chapter 14  
  
For the Best  
Often after that first visit did Squall go back to Timber. He go up there for a couple of days every week. He looked forward to seeing Emma; her smile was the highlight of his week.  
  
His friends were starting to get suspicious of his disappearances. Squall never told them when he was going to leave. He would just leave a note on his desk and hope that they find it the next morning.  
  
One morning after he had just returned from one of his visits Quistis and the others had cornered him in his office. She began asking persistent questions about his absentness.  
  
"So where do you keep going Squall? You're always leaving, never giving anybody any notice. Tell us Squall, what or who has captured your attention so effectively?"  
  
Zell let's out a chortle. "I think our Squall has met a girl." Zell's teasing was brought to an abrupt halt when he caught sight of the deadly glare that Squall was giving him.  
  
"Honestly Squall," Seifer spoke up. "What's going on?"  
  
Squall stands up furious. "Whatever I'm doing is none of your business! Just leave me the hell alone!"  
  
As he stormed out of his office he felt everyone's eyes watching him, but he didn't care he just wanted to get away.  
  
Squall arrived in Timber later that night. He reached Emma's and gently knocked on the door. The door creaked open and a surprised Emma entered the doorway.  
  
"My.god.Squall what are you doing here?"  
  
"I.I needed to get away, I hope you don't mind. If I'm at all a burden I'll go stay at a hotel."  
  
"Don't be silly Squall come on in."  
  
She ushers him into the house shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Can I get you anything to drink or eat?"  
  
"No.no that's alright."  
  
He was distressed it was plain enough for anyone to see, but he knew Emma didn't see it; she felt it. She felt it the same way that Squall could feel it in her.  
  
Squall was sitting on one of the kitchen table chairs. Emma pulled up a chair next to his, and in angelic movement wiped one of his loose bangs away from his eyes.  
  
"Squall, what's wrong? I know you probably don't want to tell me, but I want you to know that I'm here if you want anyone to listen."  
  
Squall looked at her and into her brilliant emerald eyes. Nothing but sincere caring shined through.  
  
At that moment he felt his heart ache. There were so many reasons for his broken down heart, but when he looked in front of him and looked at Emma he could feel his heart start to mend.  
  
"Will you just sit here with me?" His request was so honest and simple, but it was something within those words that held the greater importance. He couldn't explain it, he just knew it.  
  
"Squall if that's what you want then of course."  
  
So they just sat there with no words exchanged, no words were ever needed.  
  
With them just sitting there in silence Squall got to thinking. Here he was with this beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman sitting right next to him. She made his heart beat fast, she made him smile, he missed her when he wasn't with her and when he was with her everything was just somehow magically better. She made him feel again.  
  
Despite all those wonderful things she made him feel one thing that was tearing Squall apart-guilt.  
  
You only get one love of your life. You only get one person that your suppose to spent the rest of your life with. He lost his.  
  
Rinoa was his love, his soul mate, his best friend; she was his reason for everything. Everyday, even when he was with Emma, he thought of her. Everyday he ached for her and everyday he felt the bitter pain of the life they missed out on together.  
  
It wasn't fair for him to find someone else. How could there be anyone else? How could he possible love another woman?  
  
He looked down at Emma who was now sleeping peacefully against his shoulder. Watching her sleep Squall realized it wasn't fair to either of the two women.  
  
Slowly he got up from his chair, being ever so careful not to wake Emma. He gentle lifted her up from her own chair and carried her to the closest bed. Tucking her into the covers he stopped for a moment just to look at her. So many feelings were running inside of him. He took a deep sigh, it was better this way.  
  
Digging through her kitchen Squall came up with a piece of paper and a pen. Quickly scribbling something down on the paper Squall left the note on her table. With one last look at Emma's sleeping figure Squall left.  
  
Waiting for Emma was a note which read.  
Emma, I'm sorry. Your one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I mean that with every fiber in my body, that's why I have to leave. You don't deserve someone as messed up as me. You deserve so much better. Please understand that it's better this way. Always, Squall  
Upon returning back to Balamb Quistis, Seifer and Zell immediately approached him. Quistis was the first to apologize.  
  
"We had no right to pry into your business like that Squall. Were all terribly sorry."  
  
Seifer followed Quistis' apology. "Yeah you're a big boy and can handle your own problems. Just remember were here if you ever need any help."  
  
"I hate to say it, but Seifer's right," Zell chimed in his voice dead serious. "Were here for you man. Through thick and thin. Nothing will ever change that."  
  
Squall pats Zell's shoulder. "Thanks guys I appreciate it, but this is one of those things that I have to figure out for myself."  
  
Leaving them confused and concerned Squall walked away, and went to his dorm room.  
  
A few days went by since Squall left Emma. He had plenty of time to dwell on his decision, which never helped. What was done was done, Squall just wished he could feel that way, but deep inside Squall knew something was missing. He could just feel it.  
  
One day Squall was busying himself in the training center. His thoughts being swept away and replace by the swift graceful movements of his gunblade.  
  
Squall was ready to call it a day, his sweat was dripping off from his body and his strikes with his gunblade were getting weaker. He had only taken a couple steps towards the exit when he heard a monstrous roar running full speed in his direction. Squall pointed his gunblade in the direction of his opponent ready for the attack.  
  
The monster was only a few meters away when Squall heard a faint voice from behind him.  
  
"Do you need any help?"  
  
Squall didn't need to turn around to know who that voice belonged to; it would be installed in his memory forever. Without turning to face her Squall asked.  
  
"Emma what are you doing here?"  
  
She didn't have time to answer for a vicious tyrannosaur was now upon them. With Emma's help the two slashed away at the prehistoric beast showing no mercy as they released strike after strike.  
  
In no time the T-rex fell to the ground creating a massive boom that echoed throughout the training center. Emma stared as the breathless animal, but Squall's attention was else where. He repeated the question that he had asked before.  
  
"Emma what are you doing here?"  
  
Emma looks up from the dinosaur her eyes meeting his own.  
  
"You left me. You left me just like everyman before you has. I thought you be the one guy that might have stayed around. You're the one person I thought the most of in the entire world.then one morning I find a note."  
  
"Emma, this isn't something I planned. I never wanted to get so involved with you, but I couldn't help it. You do something to me that leaves me breathless."  
  
"Then why did you leave?" You could see the pain that she was so desperately trying to hide. It tore Squall apart.  
  
"Because I couldn't be everything you need. I would never be able to give you my all."  
  
Her voice was nothing more then a mumble as she says to him. "Because of Rinoa."  
  
"I don't deserve to be given a second chance at love Emma."  
  
Emma stayed quiet her eyes not quite able to reach his own. He couldn't blame her; Squall could barely look in the mirror anymore. He was about to walk away when from her silence Emma spoke.  
  
"I don't want to replace Rinoa, I never did. I know she's going to be part of you forever. I just wanted to be part of you too. Have a word to trust, a heart to share, and a love that's unconditional. Whenever I look at you Squall my heart starts to churn and it's washed in this warm feeling that I could only describe as love. When you're next to me I feel like I don't have to hide from the world. I feel so much its incredible. I do anything for you Squall."  
  
"I don't deserve something like that." Squall whispered. "I don't deserve someone like you."  
  
"Why Squall? If Rinoa was here do you think she would say that? God I wish I could bring her back. Make your eyes light up in that way that they rarely do, but I can't no one can. Why.why can't we be together?"  
  
"Dammit Emma!" Squall yelled getting frustrated. "I can't, I told you I can't! Why do you need more then that!?"  
  
Emma stared at him tears were filling her eyes, but still she stared.  
  
"Because I believe in you. I expect more from you because that's who you are Squall Leonhart. Someone to depend on, someone more amazing then you'll ever give yourself credit for. I see it in your eyes it never wavers."  
  
Squall steps closer to Emma so their faces were less then an inch away and their eyes were level. "Maybe you should take a better look." He snarls and before she could reply he walked away.  
  
Squall had a yearning impulse to run back to her, but he pushed it away. This was for the best. He kept repeating that to himself trying to believe that it was true.it wasn't. 


	15. Keeping Promises

Ch. 15  
  
Keeping Promises  
The next few weeks were some of the most miserable weeks in the sad history of Squall Leonhart's pathetic life. It had become hard for him to even perform the simplest of tasks. He was sure his friends noticed his changed, but they never said anything, just another effect that his charming personality caused. He made his friends want to not even talk to him.  
  
Squall spent his days locked in his office. He wasn't doing any work, but at least it made it appear as if he was.  
  
On one unexpected day Cid paid him a visit. They talked about the current events that were going on within the garden. Squall was ashamed to hear that Cid knew more of what was going on in the garden then he did.  
  
Cid was concerned about him there was no denying it. Through out their conversations he kept hinting at it. Cid was never exactly the master at hiding his emotions.  
  
When the old headmaster was about to leave he looked at Squall, and in a tone that Squall wouldn't ever forget, he said to him.  
  
"I don't know what happened to you Squall. Just a few months ago you were so full of life again. I thought you had finally come around to being the man that we all knew you could be.the one you were with Rinoa. What happened Squall?"  
  
Cid didn't wait for Squall to answer, when that answer never came without another gesture Cid left his office.  
  
Squall, however, did know what happened. Back then Emma was in his life. He hadn't realized it until now. It was kind of startling, but it was the truth. Emma was what made the difference.  
  
Repeating the phrase that he kept saying to himself 'it's for the best,' Squall left his office with gunblade in hand and made his way to the training center.  
  
A few nights later after Cid's visit Squall heard a knock on his dorm room door. Squall was snuggled in his covers sound asleep when the drum of a fist against the door woke him up.  
  
Regrettably Squall crawled from his bed and stumbled to the door. He found Seifer to be the owner of the late night knock.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" He mumbled sleepily rubbing his fist against his eyes in effort to keep them awake.  
  
"Can we take a walk?"  
  
"Why in the name of Diablo would we go for a walk at," Squall looks over at the clock in his room. "At 3:00 a.m. in the morning?"  
  
"Just come on." Seifer persisted.  
  
Too tired to complain Squall grabbed his brown leather jacket and followed Seifer out of the room.  
  
Seifer led him through the quiet garden halls and to the only area that would permit them at this time of night-the training center.  
  
They walked through the forest not stopping once to listen for any unwanted creatures. Actually Seifer didn't stop until they reached the 'secret area.'  
  
The two of them leaned against the railing of the area, just like Quistis and he had only a couple of years ago. Seifer didn't say anything so neither did Squall. They just looked at the view-which was gorgeous as ever.  
  
Squall surprised himself when out from no where he said to Seifer. "Your girlfriend brought me here once." Seifer looked at him which made Squall frown. "It was nothing like that;" he tried to explain "she had just lost her instructor license and wanted someone to talk to. Needless to say I wasn't the best of company."  
  
"She should have never lost her license." Seifer told him. "She was a fantastic instructor. It was my fault for always giving her such a hard time."  
  
Squall shrugs. "But look at all that happened after. Sometimes things just work out for the best."  
  
Seifer gives Squall a funny look. "I never thought I hear you say that things work out for the best that's so uncharacteristically optimistic of you."  
  
"I said 'sometimes.'" Squall reminded him.  
  
The two continue to look out into the view. Seifer keeping his eyes focused into the distance says to Squall.  
  
"I know about you and Emma Squall." Squall looks at Seifer trying hard to keep the surprise from his face. "You didn't have to hide it."  
  
"There was nothing to hide."  
  
"That's bullshit Squall and you know it." Now Seifer's gaze was on him. Squall looked away from his friend resenting him for cornering him like this.  
  
"It's complicated Seifer. It wasn't like it was with Rinoa."  
  
"Rinoa's dead Squall!"  
  
His words rang out so brutally that Squall had to take a step back. Squall's eyes were now staring sternly at Seifer's.  
  
"Don't you think I fucking know that!?" Squall shouted at him. "Everyday in my heart I'm reminded of the loss.that's why it's so hard. I feel like I'm committing adultery."  
  
"Rinoa's dead Squall." Seifer repeated only this time sympathetically.  
  
"It's not the physical kind of adultery," he told Seifer. "It's like I'm committing adultery to my heart."  
  
Seifer was quiet for a moment as if contemplating something. Out from his silence he asks Squall.  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
Love her? Squall had thought about it, but he had yet to really consider it. What was it like to love again? Squall wasn't planning on ever having to deal with it, but like the first time around it had hit him like a ton of bricks and it left Squall unsure of what to do.  
  
"Do you or don't you?" Seifer asked him his voice getting angry. Squall remained silent.  
  
"You know when I saw Emma again I almost didn't recognize her. She looked exactly the same except for one thing. Her eyes glowed with a brilliance that made you stop and just stare at them. You know what made her eyes glow like that.love. She had only said 'where's Squall' to me, but from those two words I saw the love she felt for you. What she felt for me doesn't even compare to what she feels for you. Not one word had to be exchanged for me to realize that."  
  
Squall stood there not knowing what to say. With Squall being mute Seifer took the chance to continue. "I had only seen that look of love once before and that was on you Squall."  
  
Squall thought of all the times Seifer had seen him with Rinoa. There hadn't been that many.  
  
"It was right after the first time you came back from Timber. I saw it right away, I just didn't say anything."  
  
Squall stared at Seifer. His heart was turning in that way that was becoming so familiar, and his head was spinning so uncontrollable it became a struggle just to stand.  
  
Meanwhile Seifer started to walk away, but he stopped at the areas entranced and turned to Squall.  
  
"Why do you always fall for the one's I've already been with?" With a smirk on his face Seifer left Squall alone with nothing to do, but think.  
  
He sat in the 'secret area' till day break. All the while, despite how much he tried, he just couldn't get that guilty feeling to go away.  
  
It had been a long night of mental torment. The emotional trauma soon made it difficult to stay awake. His eyelids were becoming as heavy as bricks and as much as he tried to fight it, the dark eventually consumed him.  
* * *  
  
The smell of fresh flowers lightened his heart. Startled by the sweet smell Squall quickly looked around his surroundings, he was surprised to discover he was at Edea's orphanage, back when it was in rambles.  
  
Squall stepped by a few piles of rocks making his way towards the flower field.  
  
This place never zest to amaze him. The flowers a collage of colors, all of them so warm and bright. It was the type of sight that could take your breathe away.  
  
Squall had only looked a little further down the field when he saw a sight that really did take his breathe away.  
  
Rinoa stood twenty feet in front of him. She was wearing that baby blue outfit that he had grown to adore. Squall could only stand there dumbly as he stared at her incredulously.  
  
"Impossible." He whispered to himself.  
  
Rinoa slowly began to walk towards him. Her every step was like a graceful dance. Squall unbearably wanted to run to her, but his feet wouldn't move. It was like his whole body went rigid from the sight of her figure.  
  
When she approached him Squall almost fainted, and had to use every ounce of his strength just to stay conscious.  
  
"Hey Squall," her voice sang. She smiled at him so radiantly that Squall had to pinch himself to make sure all this was real. When he felt the tinge of pain from his fingers he gathered himself just enough to regain control of his voice, he whispered to her.  
  
"Rinoa, are you really there?"  
  
She gave him a weak smile then laid her hand against his cheek. Squall could feel the warmth from her smooth, soft hands. He set his own hand against her face feeling her silky skin against his fingers.  
  
Tears began to roll down his eyes, but Squall didn't care. He moved closer towards her and without another thought pressed his lips against hers. Squall could feel Rinoa kiss back, indescribable passion swept through his entire body, as for that one moment their souls were reunited.  
  
They stayed that way for awhile, but it felt like seconds. When he felt Rinoa hesitate and pull away from their kiss he grabbed her by the shoulders and cried out desperately to her.  
  
"You're not leaving Rinoa! Not again!"  
  
With tears in her eyes she looks up at Squall lovingly.  
  
"Things are the way they are, despite how much how much I want to change them the fact remains."  
  
"Then what are you doing here Rinoa? Is this just some cruel trick to torture my already tortured soul?"  
  
"Squall I know you loved me. You don't have to go on the way you have."  
  
"What are you talking about? What do you mean 'lovED'?" Squall made sure to emphasize the pass tense part of the word that he never spoken to another soul.  
  
"You know Squall you never promised me that you would move on. I need you to promise me that right now." "Rinoa, I couldn't make it then what in the hell makes you think that I could make it now?"  
  
Rinoa leans over to him kissing him ever so softly on the forehead. "Because you can now."  
  
Squall watches helplessly as Rinoa starts taking steps backwards, her image slowly fading away. Squall wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and never ever let go, but for some reason he stayed put.  
  
"I love you." She said to him, her voice echoing throughout the flower field.  
  
In return Squall mouthed the words to her. "I.I promise." His voice didn't carry, but somehow the words did. Rinoa nodded and gave him one last smile that even as her figure faded her smile never did, it was etched in his heart forever.  
  
* * *  
  
Squall awoke with a start; he shook his head in effort to regain himself. Rinoa.the effect she had on him never stopped surprising him.  
  
Squall jumped up from the ground with a burst of energy he couldn't explain. He sprinted out of the training center bumping into Zell on his way.  
  
Zell called after him.  
  
"Where the hell are you going!?"  
  
Still running Squall yelled back. "Going to keep a promise!" 


	16. In the Face of Faith

Ch. 16  
  
In the Face of Faith  
  
To say Squall was nervous on the train ride to Timber would be a huge understatement, he was actually so nervous he was on the verge of collapsing. His heart was beating unbearable fast and he tingled from head to toes. However, the bottom line was Squall was going to do this. He wasn't going to hide from it any longer. Squall was going to tell Emma how he felt.  
  
The train eventually pulled to a halt at the Timber train station. Squall quickly got off the vehicle and made his way through the station. As he was walking he sensed something was off. From first appearances it looked completely normal, but as Squall took a deeper look he knew that something just wasn't right.  
  
His pace quickened, and he was just about out of the train station when he felt a fierce pair of hands grab him.  
  
"You're not from around here. Who the hell are you!?"  
  
"Get the hell off me!" Squall yelled throwing his attackers hands off of him.  
  
The man, who Squall soon realized was station security, grabbed his sword from his hoister.  
  
"Tell me who you are or so help me."  
  
Squall pulled out his own gunblade. "I'm Squall Leonhart, headmaster of Balamb garden. Now tell me what the hell is going on here?"  
  
"By Shiva, you are Leonhart aren't you?"  
  
Squall was starting to get impatient, and annoyed. "Tell me what's going on, or I'll make sure you never tell a living soul anything ever again." He threatened the guard.  
  
The security guard gave into a helpless gulp.  
  
"A whole lot of Galbadian rebels came here dressed as regular citizens, then without any notice they attacked the city bringing down all our new buildings and terrorizing the people and their homes."  
  
Squall didn't waste another moment with the security guard. He ran with everything he had to Emma's place. Ignoring the destruction around him Squall was set on only one thing-getting to Emma.  
  
When he finally reached her house Squall felt his heart drop from his chest to the bottom of the earth. Emma's house was in shambles, the windows no longer existed; all that remained were shreds of broken glass. Dents from what must have been something no softer then a rock covered the whole front of the house. In the right lower part of the house next to a patch of weeds was blood smeared all along the base. The door, which was hanging slightly open, had splinters of wood pointing out from every angle. It scared Squall that he could hear no noise coming from the inside. He walked inside hoping against hope that everything would be okay.like always hope was a waste.  
  
The inside was nothing more then broken objects lying sporadically all over the floor. He couldn't find one thing intact.  
  
"Emma!" He called out knowing the pointlessness of it, but still trying anyway.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?" A voiced asked. It wasn't Emma's.  
  
Squall turned around and saw Zone step into the house joining him in the broken kitchen. Squall ran to him.  
  
"What happened here!? Where's Emma!? Is she alright!?"  
  
Zone looked at Squall coldly; his voice was calm and eerie. "Funny how you're always there when it's too late, wouldn't you say Mr. Leonhart?"  
  
Squall looked at Zone incredulously. He didn't have time for these games. His only concern at the moment was Emma.  
  
"Zone, will you please tell me where Emma is?" He bagged.  
  
"She was taken by the Galbadian rebels." Zone told him  
  
Squall swaggered back a couple steps, the news stabbed his heart. Meanwhile Zone continued to explain.  
  
"She didn't even fight back; she just let them take her. Watts and I tried to stop them, but dammit." Zone stopped there. Squall looked at him anxiously.  
  
"Why didn't you contact me?" Squall demanded.  
  
"We thought it would be for the best if we didn't," Zone snarled. "After all staying away form her was what you wanted wasn't it?"  
  
Squall couldn't believe what Zone was saying. "I.I didn't mean it like that." He tried to explain to the one time resistance leader.  
  
"Could have fooled her. You know Squall they always seem to fall for you. Beats me why, but in the end they always end up alone. You're nothing more then a coward Squall Leonhart, a coward behind a SeeD uniform. You fight hundreds of battle and take care of thousands of strangers, but you can never take care of the ones that really care about you."  
  
Zone had done it, he had passed Squall's threshold. In one emotional movement Squall pins Zone against the wall.  
  
"I love Emma." Squall said out loud for the first time, the words not even startling him. "I've made some major mistakes, but by the gods I'll spend the rest of my life making immense."  
  
Zone, still being held against the wall stares Squall straight in the eyes. "Prove it, get her back." He snapped at him.  
  
Squall let's go of Zone watching him fall to the ground.  
  
"I will." He tells the long time revolutionary then sticks down his hand offering to help Zone back up. "But I'll need your help."  
  
Zone grabs onto Squall's hand. "And you'll always have it."  
  
With nothing else said or done the two men got started. Squall was going to get back Emma; he was never as determined as he was in that solitary fact.  
  
Shortly after his conversation with Zone Squall called Quistis, Seifer, Zell, Selphie and Irvine, he asked them to come to Timber immediately. He didn't go over any details with them all he said was it was important, and for them he knew that be enough.  
  
A few hours later everyone was gathered at Chief Fox's upstairs meeting room-luckily it hadn't been destroyed by the rebels. There Squall went over the situation with Zone filling in the gaps that Squall missed.  
  
"Emma was taken by the Galbadian rebels." Everyone gasped, but Squall paid no attention. "I've spoken to President Caraway and he says they had probably taken her to their hideout which he presumes is in the underground tunnels of the city."  
  
At that moment Seifer speaks up. "I know those tunnels like the back of my hand. I spent a lot of time there before I came back to the garden. If they have a hideout there I'll find it."  
  
Squall gives Seifer a nod of acknowledgment before continuing. "President Caraway has given me free disposal of his reinforcements."  
  
"As has Timber." Zone added.  
  
Squall nods at Zone. "As had Timber, but I have declined both those offers."  
  
Everyone at the same time stared opened mouthed at Squall, all giving him looks as if he was crazy, he knew they would. With a heavy sigh Squall explained.  
  
"With the war for Timber's independence just getting over I refuse to ask for there help. I won't see anymore blood shed at my command. I'm going into those tunnels alone, but I will ask you guys, my friends, if you can find it within yourselves to please join me. Please don't feel like your obliged, I haven't done anything to earn your friendship, and if you walked away right now I wouldn't hold it against you. I'm just asking you guys as one broken soul. Will you help me?"  
  
Everyone was silent their eyes not leaving his own. Squall stood there tensely as he awaited their answer. It was Quistis who was the first to stand up and give him one.  
  
"Squall, if you have one fault it would be your lack of faith. I think I speak for all of us when I say we follow you to the end of the earth. You never have to tell us to go all you have to say is when."  
  
Squall looked at each of his friends everyone as eager as the next. "How about now," he told them.  
  
Within twenty minutes everyone was ready to go. They took a train to Deling city and once within the city Seifer spoke of there being a lot of entries, but only a few that would for sure avoid immediate commotion.  
  
They ended up taking a latter down that was hidden in one of the alley ways. At the bottom there was nothing, but pure darkness. Seifer tapped Squall on the shoulder scaring him half to death. In a train like fashion, with Seifer in the lead, Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Zone, Watts and himself all began to descend into the darkness.  
  
For a long time it was just darkness and silence. When they finally reached a trace of light everyone got excited, but Seifer calmed them down.  
  
"We have to be ready now for anything. Everyone have their weapons out."  
  
Squall for one was holding onto his gunblade tightly. He wanted so desperately to run through the tunnels calling out Emma's name, but he knew that action would be fatal. So with much restraint Squall continued to walk slowly behind Seifer.  
  
As they walked the light got brighter until everything and everyone were viewable again.  
  
They had come to a clearing that was a dead end, except for one door to the right. Without any other options presenting themselves the eight of them opened the door and walked through.  
  
They walked into a dark room and had only taken a couple steps when they began to hear voices. They were coming from the other side of the wall at the other end of the room. Squall along with the others leaned against the wall to listen.  
  
"Commander the girl, she still won't talk. Are you absolutely sure she was head of the Timber liberation.she doesn't seem like the type."  
  
They heard a crisp smack of someone being hit across the face, and then the loud thud of somebody's body hitting the floor.  
  
"Imbecile, of course I'm sure! Don't ever question my authority!" echoed a malicious voice. "As for the girl," the voice continued. "There a plenty harsher ways of making her talk."  
  
Squall cringed.  
  
"What should the troops be doing?" Another voice asked. "They've been quite bored since out attack on Timber."  
  
"Tell them to be patient. There will be a major battle ahead I assure them."  
  
The voices grew quiet and Squall had to strain his ears to make out what they were saying. Nothing was clear until the sinister voice yelled out.  
  
"I think I'll pay the girl a visit myself. If anything I might get a little enjoyment out of it."  
  
Squall couldn't take that. Against the restraint of the others he threw open the door and plunged into the room with his gunblade raised.  
  
It wasn't one of his brightest ideas, but his heart was leading him now. Whenever that occurred there was nothing to do to stop it.  
  
Squall found himself in a gigantic room. Easily three times the size of the garden's quad. Quickly scanning the permanence Squall saw only three men in front of him, and with the others now on his side there was nothing preventing Squall from overtaking them.  
  
"Where's Emma!?" Squall yelled out to them.  
Two of the men were quivering as Squall screamed at them, but one stood there confidently. His eyes were cold and collective, and his stare.it was nothing short of pure evil. He ran a hand through his slick black hair, and when he spoke it was nothing more then a drawl.  
  
"So the girl has a name, how lovely."  
  
Squall felt his chest tighten, and his temper flare.  
  
"Where is she?" He asked angrily.  
  
"Oh around, but before you go any further may I ask who you are and why I have the pleasure of your company at this moment?"  
  
"It doesn't matter who I am all you need to know is that I've come to take Emma."  
  
"Well your right about one thing." The man told him as the room filled with rebels. "It doesn't matter who you are because in matter of minutes you'll be dead."  
  
Like a clash of lightening the rebels attacked. It was eight on a hundred; Squall was striking his gunblade at three rebels at a time. He had just pulled back his gunblade from a rebel's body when he heard Seifer call out to him.  
  
"Go get Emma Squall!"  
  
"No!" Squall screamed back. "I'm not leaving you guys."  
  
"Go Squall, or it's all to waste-everything will be." called out Quistis, her voice always being the sound of reason.  
  
Squall watched his friends everyone risking their life for him, or for his well being. He felt his heart swell with love for his friends. Without wasting another moment Squall ran out of the large room whispering the words "take care," to the wind that was behind him.  
  
Outside the large room was a short hallway that ended with a door. Without a moments hesitation Squall stepped into the room.  
  
Chained to the wall hung Emma. Squall ran desperately towards her. Her face was pale and a thin line of blood ran down the side of her face. Emma's eyes where closed, Squall automatically put his head against her heart fearing the absolute worst. Thank the guardians she was still alive.  
  
Squall called out her name while gently stroking her hair.  
  
Slowly, as if for the first time, Emma's eyes fluttered open. She took a moment to focus then was looking straight at him her eyes now wide with surprise.  
  
Squall with two clean swipes of his gunblade broke the chains that held her. Emma collapsed into Squall who held her tightly. With a slight release Squall looked at Emma physically unable to look away. Still a bit puzzled Emma asked him.  
  
"Sq.Squall what are you doing here?" Her voice was shaky, but the relief couldn't be mistaken.  
  
"I came for you, I.I don't think I can go on without you Emma. I'm sorry for being so horrible to you, but I swear I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."  
  
Squall expected some hesitation on her part. Something like 'I don't know,' or 'I need time.' Instead Emma smiled that sweet, innocent smile of hers that Squall just loved, and said to him.  
  
"You're crying Squall."  
  
And indeed he was. Tears from so many emotions where falling down from his eyes and washing against his cheeks.  
  
"Emma I"- but before he could get out the rest Emma's eyes went big.  
  
"Squall, watch out!" She screamed.  
  
Squall moved them both just in the knick of time as a blade came slicing down at them. Squall felt it graze his right arm.  
  
He bit his lip in pain and looked up at the striker. A nasty, hideous grin was glowing on him.  
  
"You didn't think I let you leave with the heroine did you?" snarled the man from the large room just moment before.  
  
"What the hell do you want with her?" Squall screamed at the sinister man in front of him.  
  
"Oh you know the usual, beat her, make love to her and then eventually kill her, but mostly revenge."  
  
Squall never felt such anger in his life, somehow restraining himself he continued to listen to this mad man.  
  
"Galbadia was an incredible country, an awesome power to be dealt with, but after she and the people just like her our nation had been driven down to nothing better then a farm country. People like her and President Caraway deserve to die so does anyone else who stands in 'true' Galbadia's way."  
  
The man's eyes were now mad with fiery, and his blade was unforgettably pointed aggressively at them.  
  
Forgetting his own pain he looked at Emma. "I'll take care of this," he whispered to her. Emma's eyes at that moment were paralyzed with fear, but he realized then that it wasn't out of her own safety, but for his. He quickly kissed her on the top of her forehead then grabs his gunblade and pointed it at his opponent.  
  
"Well if you want to kill all that stand in your way you better start with me. I've probably been one of your biggest pains in the ass."  
  
The man glares at him. "Who 'are' you?"  
  
"I'm Squall Leonhart, headmaster of Balamb garden, friend of great people, and in love the woman right there." Squall declared while pointing at Emma not daring to look at her.  
  
The man's eyes light up with a mad anger. "Then your right once again Mr. Leonhart, my revenge does start with you."  
  
The man threw a strike at Squall fiercely; Squall was barely able to defend it. The man released blow after blow only giving Squall the chance to reflect them and nothing else. Squall quickly realized that this man was well skilled and he wondered where he had learned such skills.  
  
After awhile Squall began to get tired. The man was relentless, his strikes where getting closer and closer to connecting with something other then steel.  
  
It might have only been by chance, a fluke, or maybe the work of the great guardians. Either way when Squall was just on his last drops of energy he saw a quick, brief and risky opening, and he took it.  
  
He felt his gunblade collide with his opponent's skin and go right through his body, but that's not all he felt. As his gunblade penetrated the man's body his own sword penetrated Squall's catching him in the left shoulder.  
  
Squall fell to the ground hearing his gunblade fall next to him. His sight started to play with darkness. From what seemed far away he heard Emma crying. He felt warm tears drop to his face and for one moment, one glorious moment, he saw Emma. Her face plagued with dread, but there it was as beautiful as ever.  
  
Loosing the war inside of him Squall's eyes closed and there was nothing more then the complete loneliness of darkness. 


	17. Starts it All

Ch. 17  
  
Starts it All  
  
Rebels, Emma, the mad man, Emma, his friends, Emma, Emma, Emma. These things kept twirling in Squall's mind over and over again. Everything always ended at Emma.  
  
Slowly Squall began to open his eyes. Black specks blurred his vision, but he focused his gaze eventually making everything become clear.and there she was.  
  
Emma was sitting on the side of his bed looking over at him. Concern had took over her eyes, when she saw Squall open his eyes her mouth began to twitch and small tears began to pour down from her emerald eyes. She was looking stunning as ever.  
  
"My god Squall," she cried "You awake!"  
  
Squall smiles as brightly as he could manage. She was here with him- all worries could be set aside. Emma was there with him that's all Squall cared about.  
  
"We were all so worried Squall. You were out for days, and when you were overcome by that terrible fever we thought." Emma starts to weep. "Well I guess that doesn't matter now."  
  
Squall slowly sits up he could feel an ache coming from his right shoulder, and then it turned into a throbbing pain. Suddenly all the events of all that happened came rushing to his head. The rebels, leaving the others, finding Emma strapped to a wall, a battle with whomever that man was, being stabbed. Faster then he should of Squall stood up straight.  
  
"Calm down Squall," Emma said soothingly. "You shouldn't have quick movements like that."  
  
For the moment Squall forgot the pain and Emma's advice.  
  
"What happened!?" He asked almost threateningly. "I remember leaving everyone with all those soldiers, then I got stabbed and." Squall stopped right there too confused to go on. Emma just smiled sweetly at him her hand running through his damp hair.  
  
"You can relax headmaster your troops are fine. Everyone is fine."  
  
"But.but," Squall persisted confused and entirely exhausted.  
  
After a deep breathe Emma began to explain.  
  
"At the time it was hard to take it all in. There you were in my arms just a breath away from.well from me loosing everything."  
  
Emma stops for a moment to wipe away the tears that were forming in her eyes. At that moment Squall knew there was no going back, she had him now. Now, tomorrow, forever she had him. Squall, however, remained quiet and listened intently as Emma continued.  
  
"Well we were in that room when I heard a hoard of footsteps coming down the hall. Without really thinking I grabbed your gunblade and prepared for an attack, not that I would have done much good, anyways there was no need because the soldiers that come weren't rebels they were Timber and Galbadians soldiers"  
  
Squall looked at her shocked. How would they have known to come? He didn't even get a chance to ask the questions because just then everyone else appeared at the doorway. Quistis was in front of them all, it was her that explained.  
  
"Timber and Galbadia caught wind of what we were doing, and on their own free will decided to come. They said this was their fight from the beginning and they weren't going to let us take it alone."  
  
"And it was a damn good thing they did too," Seifer added. "Or none of us would be here right now explaining all this to your sorry ass."  
  
Squall looks at all of them. "What happened to you guys after I left?"  
  
Zell took this one. "Well it was tough goin for awhile, but then the troops came and once we finished up that area of business we went lookin for you. I gotta tell you man when we saw you with the shoulder wound lying unconscious." Zell let out a whistle. "We thought we lost you."  
  
Irvine with one arm wrapped around Selphie speaks up. "I'm sure you can figure out the rest," He turns to everyone else. "Come on guys I think Squall could use some rest." With a wink Irvine leads everyone one out of the tiny room that is everyone except Emma who continued to stand there.  
  
"I guess I should be leaving too."  
  
She starts to leave when Squall quickly grabs her hand. "Please don't."  
  
He didn't say anything else, and neither did she. Emma just sat back down in her chair getting cozy she smiled at him and Squall smiled back. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but at the moment he was speechless with exhaustion. He closed his eyes and from that point there was nothing he could do as the overpowering force of sleep took him.  
  
What must have been hours later Squall awoke feeling a hundred times better. He automatically looked over at Emma who was still sitting in the chair, only now sound asleep.  
  
Squall watched her, she was incredibly beautiful there was no doubt about that, but there was something else to her-something so much more then that.  
  
Still aching slightly Squall slowly crawled out of bed. He took one of his blankets and laid it across Emma. He stood there for a minute looking at her-she deserved more then this, more then the life he at garden could give her. Bitterly Squall left the room.  
  
Without direction Squall wondered around the garden. He had no idea where he was going, and before he knew it he was standing at 'that' room, that ballroom that started it all.  
  
He stumbled to the balcony, so many emotions had occurred on that small area. He felt that part of his heart stayed there as the rest of him moved on-maybe some of it really had, but Squall wouldn't let himself think about that. He had spent too much time thinking about the past. He had to start considering the future for he knew there was a lot to decide.  
  
He had lost track of time out on that balcony. Lost in thoughts and confusion he didn't even notice when someone had walked up beside him.  
  
"You shouldn't be out of bed."  
  
Squall jumped back startled. "Emma, what are you doing? How did you know I be here?"  
  
"I didn't know," she told him her voice almost saintly. "I never know I just feel."  
  
Curiously Squall asked her. "What do you feel right now?"  
  
Emma sighs taking a step closer to him.  
  
"Like I'm the luckiest person alive."  
  
Squall turns away from her. "Emma I'm not the man you dream me up to be."  
  
"Squall, I"-  
  
Squall didn't let her finish. "I'm not, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be." He turns back to Emma.  
  
"I love you Emma. I can't believe it, I don't know how it happened, but I know I'll spend the rest of my life thanking the guardians that it did."  
  
Emma hugged him almost squeezing the life out of him, but Squall didn't care it felt good to be hung on to like that.  
  
She raised her head to his ear and whispered.  
  
"I love you Squall."  
  
Smiling that rare smile of his Squall whispered back to her. "Then I'm the luckiest person alive."  
  
Emma giggles and with nothing else left got the two lovers' they embrace in a kiss filled with so much love and passion that it would make any onlooker blush.  
  
Squall would never know how things will turn out, but he could feel that everything would be okay.  
  
He would always love Rinoa, she was so much a part of his heart that she would never truly die, but he wasn't going to look back at the roads that he had already taken. He finally realized that there was so much ahead of him. He was going to do what he promised the first person he loved, and move on.  
  
Holding Emma's hand the two of them left the balcony filled with so many memories and began to live their life, for Squall it was living it all over again.  
  
THE END  
  
AUTHORS NOTES: Sorry for all those die hard Squall and Rinoa fans out there. Truly I'm one myself, but I couldn't do another story with those two. I needed to mix it up so maybe, just maybe, when I do my next final fantasy story it will be something fresh. Thank you to those who actually read the whole story. I hope you came to appreciate Emma despite her biggest flaw, in not being Rinoa. Thanks again I can't thank anyone enough who ever gives my stuff a chance.  
  
Always, Leah 


End file.
